HOSPITALITY.

The end of last week was spent at a training block in London. The theme was hospitality. The speaker was Phil Togwell, a big voice within 24/7prayer. Here are his reflections (3 parts) on our time together. Could this calling of hospitality be the heartbeat of the gospel?

http://toggietales.typepad.com/toggie_tales/2007/01/transit_the_tog_2.html

GOD'S STORY.

30JAN07 Dan 5-7
31JAN07 Dan 9; 12
01FEB07 Ezra 1; 3
02FEB07 Ezra 4-5
03FEB07 Hag 1-2
04FEB07 Ezra 6-7
05FEB07 Ezra 8-9

EXACT HALFWAY POINT of Transit: 06FEB07...my birthday!

ANOTHER GLIMPSE.

Ok. Ok. I suppose this photo more fully shows the affects of the land of the English.

WONDER.

Yesterday was another day on Transit. I found myself, once again, at the Construction Bus project serving local teens. A lot of the day was spent talking to another of the guys on our team about frustrations here. Yet again. Over my weeks of fasting I definitely felt removed from the community with a lack of meal times, etc. And, the impression I had was that everyone was content with how things were going. We had new schedules. People seemed more excited about them. How wrong I was. There are others here who are even more dissatisfied than before. This so-called '40 days of prayer' has turned out to be a label. And that's where it's ended for the group. Nothing is changing. The worst is that our group leadership doesn't seem to realize. Yet we all do. Things will be said soon.

So, anyways, after a long day of analyzing Transit, we soon found ourselves walking home and still talking. Know that we're trying to handle this in the most positive way possible. We all hate that it's turned into what can seem to be complaints and bickering. Pray that we'll have critical minds but not critical spirits and hearts. Like I was saying. We were walking home before dinner late yesterday afternoon. The weather was cold. Colder than it's been. Quite the contrast from the sunny warmth of this past weekend. So, of course I was commenting yet again on the lack of snow. From what seemed like Day 1, I was informed that it doesn't snow here. Don't dream it up. We'll get a few light snows and that's about it. I held onto that reality, no matter how discouraging it was. (I still think it's going to snow on my birtday, though.) Anyways...we found ourselves talking about old childhood memories. The days when you'd go to bed and it would be snowing like crazy and all you could do was pray that school would be cancelled in the morning. Those were the days. When you'd watch the news and see your school scan across the screen with a big bold 'CANCELLED' below it. Or the days when you'd wake up in the morning and your room would seem just a bit brighter than normal. You'd turn to look out the window and everything would be coated in white. But not here in England. It will be freezing cold. It will rain. But, get over your hopes for snow. Blame it on global warming.

After dinner last night I found myself talking to a couple more individuals on our team about Transit. More frustrations. It's a different program than we came for. This is not the year-out program we read about on the 24-7 website. The opinions are the same. It may be great in theory but it's not happening in reality. We're not living lives of prayer. And the leadership isn't doing anything about it. So, we're going to. Change is going to come.

At one point, crazy prayer ideas were brought up, like staying up all night or just doing things out of the ordinary. Getting away from the typical 'prayer time.' So, I walked away encouraged and decided that I would stay up all night. Just trying out something new. Keeping 'night watch'.

I was soon in my room with some christmas lights on and a bunch of candles lit. Music was quietly playing on my computer. I was kneeling on the floor. It was 11pm. By 11:30pm I was laying on my back covered with my duvet. Asleep. I kept waking up during the next couple hours, obviously uncomfortable from the hard floor. The candles were still burning. The CD had finished so it was completely silent. And I went back to sleep. Finally, at 5:30am, I was wide awake. I jumped up, dissapointed and frustrated that I hadn't kept very good 'watch.' Another attempt at prayer failed. But, as I stood up, something caught my eye outside. The roofs next door were glowing. They were white. It had snowed!

My first thought was that I should kneel back down and attempt to bring in the morning with some prayer. That wasn't logical. I put my jacket, scarf, and gloves over my three layers I still had on from yeserday. I took a couple gulps of juice, slipped on my boots and silently crept out the door.

A whole new world awaited me outside. I felt like a kid again. As I look back over my life, I can't think of any 'first snows'. None of them are memorable. But, there was something different about this. It was still completely dark as I began walking down the sidewalk. With each step I formed a fresh new crunchy footprint. The sidewalk was a blank canvas. No one had walked this way yet. It was still early morning. Cars rushed by, seeming to miss the newness of it all. They were on their way to work. They didn't have time to enjoy. They didn't have time to look. They didn't have time to wonder.

I soon found myself walking across fields where muddy footpaths usually lie. For the first time I noticed somthing about the snow at night. With the lack of light, I realized that I would typically be in pitch-black at this hour in this location. But this morning was different. The darkness had been overcome. Dominated. The snow gave off a somewhat mystical light. I could see the hills in the distance. The trees seemed illuminated. But, the cars far off to the right kept zooming by.

An hour or so later I found myself sitting on a bench still trying to take it all in. The sun still had a while before it would rise. As I sat there, I thought about the dreams I had just had in my restlessness of half-way sleeping through the night. I began to wonder whether this was a dream. Was I sitting in a dream right now? I had the sense that God had drawn me out into this vast place to show me this. To see his glory. Chills fill my body even as I type. I assured myself that it wasn't all a dream. But, I also assured myself that God was trying to speak. I began thinking around the whole idea of grace and how snow is one of the best pictures of it. I think about the movie "Crash." What a brilliant film that is. Yet, what strikes me each time I watch it is the fact that it snows at the end. In California. In Hollywood. We finally get a glimpse into all these lives. Messed up lives. Yet lives moving towards redemption and change. So much negativity is pictured in that film. Yet you see that the people are trying despite their constant failures. Then, at the very end, the snow begins to fall. Over each of them. Over the death and decay that has just been pictured. It's unexplainable. It's warm California. It's unexpected. Not normal. Grace.

And so, as I sat there this morning. I saw grace poured out across this place. It was as if God was assuring me that my time is in his hands. Not that I don't need to work to bring about change here, but that he is so much bigger and can do so much more than I could ever do on my own. He wants to be in charge. He is the Creator who poured out a beautiful pure coating across the mud and muck last night. I mean, honestly, is there really a point of snow? Do we really need this moisture to fall from the sky and turn solid and white when it gets cold enough? No. Not at all. But look at the beauty in it. Look at the joy it brings.

I kept on walking from that place. Down trails through the woods. Across bridges. With each step, the first footprint on fresh snow. Crunch after crunch. It was like I had stepped into a fairy tale land. I walked by gnarly old trees coated in snow. The backdrop was a soft pastel pink and blue as the sun came up. I passed by bushes with purple flowers peeking out from underneath the fluffy coating. I passed college dormitories, the lights still out. Not a person to be seen. As I walked by the river, I came to a park. There sat a police car...the police man beside it leaning over and rolling a snowball across the pavement as if to be making a snowman. I slowly walked by, knowing that I hadn't been noticed. But, as I was nearly past, still watching him out of the corner of my eye, he jumped up to a standing position and quickly huried to his car, opening the trunk. He had seen me and acted as if he had been 'caught'. This is life! In England people don't make eye-contact with you as they pass you on the street. They look away. This morning strangers actually looked me in the eye. We exchanged smiles and 'good-morning' greetings. But, the cars still rushed by, seemingly unaffected by it all. Five minutes later, I heard a siren and that same police man was on the chase to track someone down. I hope his joy wasn't that short-lived.

I returned home 3 1/2 hours later. The sidewalks were now just wet and slushy. Footprints were all over the place. The snow in our back yard is nearly completly melted. And I had missed a prayer meeting that I was planning to intend. But, that's fine by me. And, I don't think God is too disappointed either. This morning I stood in awe of Him. Holy wonder. Satisfaction and thanksgiving. It really was all quite surreal. And, I wonder if it was a gift just for me. A dream. Visual words from my Creator.

FOOD.

A new twist on this blog. Food. Yum. I just got done making and consuming one of the best smelling and best tasting meals of my life. You must try this. Or, when I get back to the States you can ask & (if you're lucky) I might just possibly make it for you.

LAMB AND TOMATO STEW
from an Italian Farmhouse

Makes 4 servings

I love this exceedingly simple stew, typical of farmhouse cooking in southern Italy, because of its intense flavors. The lamb and tomato seem to melt together. One of the reasons these kinds of southern Italian stews taste so good is because the marrow-rich shank bones are used, which enrich the gravy. Another is that they are cooked with wine, and wine in stew is so perfect that many Italian cooks associate one with the other. This is a wintertime stew, as you might guess from the fact that I call for canned tomatoes, fresh ones being out of season and generally not very good tasting at that time of year.

3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 medium-size onion, chopped
2-1/2 pounds lamb shank and shoulder on the bone,
trimmed of any large pieces of fat and cut into chunks
5 garlic cloves, finely chopped
1 cup robust red wine
One 28-ounce can crushed tomatoes
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

In a casserole, heat the olive oil over medium-high heat. Cook the onion until translucent, stirring, about 5 minutes. Brown the lamb on all sides, about 8 to 10 minutes. Add the garlic, wine, and tomatoes and season with salt and pepper. Reduce the heat to low and simmer, uncovered, until the meat is soft, about 4 hours.

GOD'S STORY.

23JAN07 Is 40; 42
24JAN07 Is 43-44
25JAN07 Is 45-47
26JAN07 Is 48-50
27JAN07 Is 52-54
28JAN07 Is 55-56; 58
29JAN07 Is 60-62; 64

WORDS.

So I just got off the phone with Tim. He called to tell me he had received some words for me over the weekend. For those of you who don't know, Tim is the one who is at the head of Transit and in charge of keeping it running. My encounters with him have been brief until the last couple weeks. Anyways...he told me to test this, but really felt over the weekend that Isaiah 62:10-12 (especially verse 10) were words for me. And, then, on Sunday at church I guess the preacher brought John 1 (verse 23) into the message. He felt this was a confimation. I'm going to meditate on this a bit more and pray into it, but as I read over Isaiah 62, chills went down my spine. There's something there. And definitely in verse 10. Tim was saying that he believes these last couple weeks of life here have just been preparation for me. That they've been a time of visitation from God. That there is something ahead.

I'm not sure what all this means. But, for those of you prayer supporters, lift this up as a request. Love you all!

"Go through, go through the gates;
prepare the way for the people;
build up, build up the highway;
clear it of stones;
lift up a signal over the peoples."
-ISAIAH 62:10

A DAY TO REMEMBER.

TO ALL MY FAITHFUL READERS...

I know there are some of you out there who get up at the break of dawn, tiptoe to the computer & quickly click on the link you have saved for this blog. On the majority of days you return to bed, frustrated and disappointed that nothing has been posted. Today is different. This day is for you. Following, you will find so many morsels of goodness that you won't be able to return to bed due to an overabundance of joy. I mean, what more could you ask for? Photos from my family's travels to Scotland. Views of the British countryside. Words of challenge. And even a picture of me! Gosh. Could life get any better?! Once again, today is for you, my faithful (and maybe closet) readers. Thanks so much for your ongoing prayers and support. Much love!

JUST A GLIMPSE.

So...nearly 5 months have come and gone & I haven't yet allowed you to glimpse what this crazy culture has done to me. Today, that changes. According to a good friend, this picture is "the perfect fusion of artsiness and Britishness." (Thanks, Dunkel.) I'll let you be the judge.

EDINBURGH & BEYOND.

THE ENGLISH COUNTRYSIDE.

ABIDING IN CHRIST.

I just turned off the oven, having baked a luscious dark chocolate cheesecake. My stomach is now feeling a bit sick from licking the spoon too many times. There is a false feeling of spring in the air on this sunny 50 degree day. I sit on my bed with my bedroom door open and can hear the birds chirping outside. Life can be funny sometimes. Todays God's Story reading was from Ezekiel 3-5. This text is full of images of food. Eating scrolls that taste like honey on the tongue. Ezekiel being commanded to lay on his side for over a year and eat nothing but barley cakes. (Forget the fact that it had to be cooked on cow dung.) Food. I know, I know. The story speaks of so much more than that. It is God's message to the prophet Ezekiel of his coming judgment. Quite sad, in fact. These chosen people whom God has set apart as his own have now been exiled out of the Promised Land. Years and years of wandering to get there. Miracle after miracle. Graciousness abundant. And then they demand human kings. Man-made rulers. In the place of God. From there it all goes downhill. Wickedness. False worship. God has been abandoned by his people.

I say that life is funny sometimes because this morning was my first time of consuming food since the 29th of December. 22 days. I write these words not to boast...not with a prideful arrogant spirit. Instead, I write with a message. A reality. A truth. A challenge. The truth is that I have never really dipped my hands into this whole fasting discipline before. I've heard it's important. I've read it's important. I mean, didn't Jesus say, "WHEN you fast..." (Mt. 6:16)? Sounds like we should be doing it, I suppose. But, the couple times I've fasted in the past, only for a few days, I haven't really seen the vitality of it all. Until these past three weeks. Over these last weeks, my prayer to have a yearning after God has been answered. My cry to be proactive in disciplining myself to run after him has been heard. I have ran with God. I have danced with God. I have sung with God. I have spoken with God. And I have wept with God.

Fasting is a spiritual discipline that has been ignored for far too many years. Last night, I scrolled down to my previous post that contained a quote on fasting in Richard Foster's "Celebration of Discipline." The reality of it is sad, yet true:

"Where are the people today who will respond to the call of Christ? Have we become so accustomed to ‘cheap grace’ that we instinctively shy away from more demanding calls to obedience? ‘Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross.’ Why has the giving of money, for example, been unquestionably recognized as an element in Christian devotion and fasting so disputed? Certainly we have as much, if not more, evidence from the Bible for fasting as we have for giving. Perhaps in our affluent society fasting involves a far larger sacrifice than the giving of money."

Could it be that the Church has shoved fasting aside because it comes at far too great a cost? In our wealthy affluent Western society, it's easy to drop a ten dollar bill in the offering plate on Sunday. We know we have enough. It really isn't that great of a sacrifice. (Don't get me wrong...I understand the importance of tithing and am no way trying to reduce that). Fasting demands us to give up something that ties us down to this world. It demands that we untie ourselves from pleasure that comes from this earth, craving after God instead. It calls us to say that we are not in charge of this life...that this world wasn't made for us. It points our lives to God, through the power of the Spirit.

We must come to this revelation. We must long to be satisfied in God alone. Only when we give up our lives and carry the cross of Christ will we be able to whole-heartedly follow God. Yes, God has grace. And that's amazing news. But he has given us a choice to follow him...to love him...to glorify him. Otherwise we would be his mechanical toys set upon this earth. This life is not easy. No one every promised it to be, not even Christ himself (Jn. 15:18-25). But if we are abiding in Christ, it will be better than easy...it will be good.

THE DAY HAS COME.

So that all may know...

After 4 1/2 months of talk, our house finally stepped into the 21st Century with the addition of a phone and wireless internet. There is much rejoicing!

If you would like to reach me, use one of the following methods:

SNAIL-MAIL
4 Runnymede Ct.
Egham
Surrey
TW20 9AA
UNITED KINGDOM

PHONE
011441784470190

EMAIL
aaron.daniel.leu@gmail.com

SKYPE
Aaron Leu

GOD'S STORY.

16JAN07 Jer 3-5
17JAN07 2Ki 24-25
18JAN07 Dan 1-3
19JAN07 Eze 1-2
20JAN07 Eze 3-5
21JAN07 Lam 1; Jer 29
22JAN07 Jer 31; Eze 37

25 THINGS I AM LEARNING.

1. Busyness is never the answer.
2. Stillness is key to knowing God.
3. It all begins with knowing my Father’s heart.
4. ‘Good things’ are possibly not the most glorifying to God.
5. This isn’t my story.
6. People have different opinions for a reason.
7. Love must come before influence.
8. Sometimes I overestimate my own self-control.
9. I must cry out for longing after God.
10. Prayer is more about listening than speaking.
11. Converting people is not the answer.
12. God doesn’t need me—yet He pursues me.
13. Miscommunication can kill.
14. God laughs, dances & cries.
15. Fasting must be developed as a lifestyle.
16. Slow walks are vital.
17. Kneeling with my face in the ground is the best position.
18. We must reflect the power behind our prayers.
19. Glorifying God is my purpose.
20. Acting upon unsatisfaction takes effort.
21. The Church needs to refresh.
22. Don’t try to figure out God—just have faith.
23. Brokenness must occur.
24. Others are on this earth for a reason—but they’re not perfect.
25. Frustrations are often my best learning tool.

GOD'S STORY.

09JAN07 Is 7-8
10JAN07 Is 9-10
11JAN07 Is 11-12
12JAN07 2Ki 18-19
13JAN07 Is 36-39
14JAN07 2Ki 21-23
15JAN07 Jer 1-2

THOUGHTS FROM THE TOZER.

"Our Heavenly Father: Let us see Thy glory, if it must be from the shelter of the cleft rock and from beneath the protection of Thy covering hand. Whatever the cost to us in loss of friends or goods or length of days let us know Thee as Thou art, that we may adore Thee as we should. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."

The world is evil, the times are waxing late, and the glory of God has departed from the church as the fiery cloud once lifted from the door of the Temple in the sight of Ezekiel the prophet.
The God of Abraham has withdrawn His conscious Presence from us, and another God whom our fathers knew not is making himself at home among us. This God we have made and because we have made him we can understand him; because we have created him he can never surprise us, never overwhelm us, nor astonish us, nor transcend us.
The God of glory sometimes revealed Himself like a sun to warm and bless, indeed, but often to astonish, overwhelm, and blind before He healed and bestowed permanent sight. This God of our fathers wills to be the God of their succeeding race. We have only to prepare Him a habitation in love and faith and humility. We have but to want Him badly enough, and He will come and manifest Himself to us.

Shall we allow a saintly and thoughtful man to exhort us? Hear Anselm; or better still, heed his words:
"Up now, slight man! Flee for a little while thy occupations; hide thyself for a time from thy disturbing thoughts. Cast aside now thy burdensome cares, and put away thy toilsome business. Yield room for some little time to God, and rest for a little time in Him. Enter the inner chamber of thy mind; shut out all thoughts save that of God and such as can aid thee in seeking Him. Speak now, my whole heart! Speak now to God, saying, I seek Thy face; Thy face, Lord, will I seek."

...Because God’s nature is infinite, everything that flows out of it is infinite also. We poor human creatures are constantly being frustrated by limitations imposed upon us from without and within. The days of the years of our lives are few, and swifter than a weaver’s shuttle. Life is a short and fevered rehearsal for a concert we cannot stay to give. Just when we appear to have attained some proficiency we are forced to lay our instruments down. There is simply not time enough to think, to become, to perform what the constitution of our natures indicates we are capable of.

How completely satisfying to turn from our limitations to a God who has none. Eternal years lie in His heart. For Him time does not pass, it remains; and those who are in Christ share with Him all the riches of limitless time and endless years. God never hurries. There are no deadlines against which He must work. Only to know this is to quiet our spirits and relax our nerves.

-A.W. Tozer, THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE HOLY

THIS CRAZY THING WE CALL LIFE.

This has been an insane set of days. To catch you up to date, let me toss you some emails ranging in time from yesterday afternoon to this evening. Follow their progress. Read them. Think. Be challenged. Send me feedback.

-----

(Monday 8th January:mid-afternoon) So…an update on the situation here. I know I've expressed to many of you over the past two weeks how frustrated I was with what seemed like a lack of movement in the right direction here. Well, I had a brief glimpse of change coming, but that quickly faded away. Very quickly. And, now I'm left with more frustration than ever and am becoming extremely tired of fighting for what seems to be the right and obvious.

Here are more specifics. Over the last month, I've really been pushing for a period of 40 days set aside at the beginning of this term and new year to focus solely on the inward spiritual disciplines of fasting, study, meditation & prayer. Because I'm such a 'doing' person, I really saw this as an extreme way of breaking out of this & getting a glimpse of the power of prayer. So, I presented this to the group at the end of last term & it seemed like a likely idea.

Then, in comes Term 2. The new schedule of our weeks came out on Wednesday & our leaders decided to make these next 40 days ones with a prayer focus. It looked good on the surface. The truth, though, is that the rest of our schedules really weren't that much less filled than last term. So, throughout the week all that I am left with is half the day on Wednesday and half the day on Thursday to really jump into it. That's also no time set aside for artwork. I remember reading how these boiler rooms were places of studio space for artists. The description for Transit spoke of how there would be time to pursue after this. Seeing as my art is a God-given gift that I plan to use in big ways in the future, I believe it is vital to continue to develop those skills. No time.

I must also let you know that the last week and a half has been one of the most spiritually intense times of my life. For the last couple years, it's been my prayer that I would actually have the desire to whole-heartedly seek after God. During these last 10 days of fasting, the longing has come in a very real way. My heart cries to fully start with a firm foundation of knowing God. In all honesty, I don't feel like I truly know God's heart. I haven't grasped his glory. So, throughout these past few days, it's been even heavier on my heart to take 40 days out and just solely focus on seeking God without the distraction of service/doing. I've prayed again and again that this idea would go away if it wasn't from God. I still feel that drive to fight for it.

Over the last days I've also gained this incredible mindset for what ministry should actually look like. We were created for God's glory. Bottom line. We can't do anything until we come around that fact. Otherwise we're coming up with our own human purposes and agendas. It's what the Church has fallen into. And, that's what I see here. So, I'm determined to know God. That has to be the basis of it all. Christ has invited us to team with him in his work in this world and yet we can't reflect his love unless we know it. I don't truly believe I know that love. That must change.

Today I met with one of my leaders, "Joe." I expressed how this whole longing to set aside time apart from service is obviously not from me. I've never had this desire in my life because I'm so focused on filling my life with doing stuff. But, the longing is here. His response was that there is no way I could take 40 days and set them aside without doing any service. He informed me that we have too close of ties with the youth ministry, east to west, so that's not possible. His question was, "Wouldn't you feel like you were missing something if you had no outward focus?" I feel trapped and limited by this schedule they've given me. I'm crying out to have more time to long after and know God. Their response: sorry…that's too bad.

So, now, here I am. I feel as if I'm in a place that is putting agendas and ministries and plans above knowing God. We had a discussion today about the Church and what it is. A rather lengthy discussion. I presented many of these new ideas I've had. Pretty much everyone else seems to be in the boat that prayer and service are equal, you can't separate them or have one without the other. While this is true to an extent, I don't believe we can effectively serve without knowing and loving God. That MUST come first! And, people just don't understand that.

What I'm left with is the honest question of whether I should be using valuable time and money to be in a place such as this. It seems to be so limiting to me…as if my heart is running full speed towards God and I keep slamming into these walls that people are setting up. I want and need your guys' honest feedback on this. Please. Doesn't this seem extremely bizarre to you, seeing as it's all a part of 24-7Prayer…a PRAYER movement?! Honestly tell me if my ideas are off. And pray for this whole situation. Tomorrow I have a brief meeting with Tim, the leader of Transit. At the end of last term, I thought he understood my approach, but after helping schedule this term and then hearing his view on the Church, I'm beginning to doubt.

Thanks for reading. Much love to each of you from the UK!

-----

Update #2…2 hours later...

Upon sending that last email, I went into my room, bowed down on my knees & buried my face into the floor. And I wept. And for the first time in my life I felt like God's Spirit was weeping within me.

Here's what I realize. God has given me this burning heart to see transformation. I am confident that this is not of myself because I am all about coming up with my own plans and ways of doing things and having them nicely arranged and organized and figured out. But my heart is screaming to trust God with His plans. It's a radical approach…a start from prayer and knowing God.

So I go to Transit and ask, what if this was an answer…what if this was a solution to why we're living such ineffective lives. What if we tried this? What if we had a new approach to our service? What if we saw our plans in light of knowing God's heart? What if this is what I need to see change in my own life?

And the feedback I receive: refusal. I'm sorry…we're tied down to this and this and this…we have our own programs and agendas…this is how it is here.

And I'm left with confusion. Am I off the mark? Despite the prayers to weed away the selfishness, are these my own prideful thoughts? Why is this so heavy on my heart?

Is this a program about God's glory? Or is it a program that is seeking to transform lives through their own set plans and strategies?

-----

Update #3…a day later…

I just got back from meeting with Tim. I am now left with a renewed hope in life, Transit, leadership in general and God. What was said was not at all what I was expecting…or honestly wanted. But, I am confident that this is what I needed to hear.

First things first, the schedule will not change. There will be no 40 days without service. These next days will not be a time when I will necessarily physically see what birthing my service in prayer means. I will not be able to get rid of all those ‘doing’ distractions. That is something that is rooted much deeper than Transit or 24-7. It is based on east to west, the charity that is over the boiler room. As I now understand it, they are the ones in charge. Tim told us yesterday that we wouldn’t be able to have 40 days without doing anything. Today he told me that when he said that he really wanted to say, “I’m sorry.” He has leadership above him that he must obey. That’s the way it has to be right now. Pray that that would change.

I know I expressed the frustration of the lack of time to pursue art during my time here. There’s no question that this will change. I’m going to go with Tim into London on Friday to look at the boiler room there as it supposedly has an ample number of rooms that would be perfect for studio space.

The big thing Tim told me today was that he believes I have a prophetic message. This is a message that must be told. And he told me that it’s a message that must be pushed in. It’s huge and God’s heart is behind it. He feels like the message is for here. He feels like it’s for people like east to west. He feels it’s for people like Transit. But he also says that I have to question that. He says that I must really dive into prayer and question whether this message is for someone else. If it is for them at this moment in time, then maybe I need to move on and declare this message to them. But, Tim’s opinion was that God has planted this message in my heart and he is using this time to mold me. It is a message that I must carry wherever I find myself in the world in September and in the next 50 years.

A big thing to think about. I think this might be vital for some of you back home as well (a.k.a. “Illuminate”). This was the last thought/challenge Tim placed in my mind as he dropped me off a few minutes ago. It is this: Is this message that I have seemed to be given being preached out of a place of love? Could that be a missing link? We’re told that if we’re not doing things out of love than it’s like a gong or clanging cymbal. Is this the reason we’re hearing these clashes from the people we’re trying to get the message across to? We need to probably first be praying for a radical love for them. Otherwise it’s just preaching AT them. We’re a shepherd with no sheep. Love for others is key and goes hand in hand with loving God. This is probably the hardest part. But it could be the missing link.

Thank you all so much for your prayers in this desperate time. God is faithful! The hard times are by no means over. But, like I said, there is a renewed hope.

Much love,
Aaron