en route

IT'S A NEW DAY.

2007-09-19T04:28:00.000-04:00

So a new season has dawned. For all you faithful blog checkers out there who continue to stalk me through this blog, let me redirect you to the following site:

(drum-roll please...)

http://lifelibertyandthepursuitofwhitepicketfences.wordpress.com/

Enjoy my thoughts. Enjoy my life.

DON'T GO YET!

2007-07-13T23:51:00.000-04:00

To all you faithful blog checkers out there from near and far, I say, "Thank you." Hope you've seen just a bit of God through the words that have been splattered across the pages of this blog. This may be the end of one phase, but not the end of the story. So, I will continue to write. No, it won't be on this same blog. Yes, a new one will be coming. Be checking for an update in the near future...

HOME SWEET HOME.

2007-06-16T01:44:00.000-04:00

I sit in Tampa Int'l Airport. It's empty. It's quiet. It's nearly 2am. In just over 4 hours I board a flight. I'm going home.

PAINT A PICTURE.

2007-06-09T17:34:00.000-04:00

I think it's finally beginning to make sense. As I spoke with someone last night, words spilled out of my mouth without even thinking. The underlying reality of the year seems to be this...

I came to this place to change. It's as simple as that. I wanted to found myself in Christ more than ever before. I thought I came with few expectations. I was careful of that. But, the truth is, I came with expectations. I came and wanted to step into a program. I wanted a program that would mold me. I wanted a modeled lifestyle that would set a pattern for the future. I wanted leaders that would challenge me. I wanted relationships that would transform me. Very vague expectations, yet expectations none the least.

Void.

They didn't happen.

Empty promises.

And yet (and here's the real kicker), I have gained what I wanted most of all. I have been drawn even more into that ultimate relationship. The truth is that I cannot help but to give God the credit for this transformation. He was the one to change. He was the one to mold. He was the one to challenge.

We must realize that when we give God the time and space in our lives, He will work. And He will fulfill our desires and cries of our hearts. This is an incredible truth!

Today I said goodbye to London.

As I walked across the bridge over the River Thames for what will be the last time during this season in my life, an army quickly moved towards me...an army of a couple hundred naked people on what was supposedly their annual bike trek across the city in protest of oil dependence and high petrol prices. Meanwhile, a busker sat on the side of the pavement letting 'Bittersweet Symphony' ring from his lips. As I continued walking, crowds of what seemed to be every ethnicity passed by. Each person, with their creativity expressed through their clothing, faded together into one whole. Individuality stripped away...seemingly more easily the more extreme. Tourists with their maps looking both lost and excited. Oversized Oxfam photographs screaming with messages to end world poverty. Big Ben continued to stand strong and firm in the distance. The clock ticked away. And the London Eye still slowly rotated just as it did on the day of its first sighting nine months ago...

Oh what a place.

UNTITLED 1.

2007-06-04T18:09:00.000-04:00

For all you crazy people out there who have somehow managed to stalk my blog over the past 9 months, I raise my glass to you and say, "Cheers!" It's been a crazy shipwreck of a ride. A ride that at times has gone on for far too long and at other points has flown by. A ride that has brought me down and back up again.

But, every ride must come to an end. And for me, that end is quickly approaching. In just over a week, I will board a plane headed for the U S of A. On the 13th of June I will fall from the sky and hopefully land on American soil. Exciting days lie ahead. More on what's next at a later date...

For now, I'm left with a whirl-wind storming through my mind. I'm sure that I will soon wake up in the States and feel as if I've just passed through a dream. In the meantime, though, I look back on this year with such refreshment. I look back and see hours upon hours...days upon days...where I was able to think of nothing but life. I look back and see the lowest lows. I look back and see frustration after frustration. But, mostly, I look back and see God's hand guiding me through it all.

And was it enjoyable? I think back to the 29th of December...the day my family left the UK. I think back to my mom asking me what I pictured the upcoming months to be. I clearly remember saying that I knew it would be "good, but not in the normal sense of the word." I didn't expect or desire fun and games for these past months. So, was it good? As I walked through a field near our house this past week, I was struck with awe. It was a field where I found myself for many-a-nights in the death of winter. It was a place of intimate encounters with the Creator. It was a place of rain and mud and sloshy puddles. Yet peace seemed to always fill that patch of land stuck in the middle of chaos. As I walked through the field just over a week ago, the grass was stretching up to my waist. Wild flowers were splashed across the canvas. During my time away, life had grown out of nothing. Not just the mediocre. Abundant life.

I scan back over the words of this blog and stumble upon the 16th of October. On that day, I find the following words:

"Pray that I would be shaken up during my time here. (Whatever that means.) Pray that I would continue to learn more about myself, and that those things I learn would cause me to be drawn even nearer to Christ. Pray that I would have the desire and drive to pour my entire being into this time…that I would be changed…that I would be molded."

I have indeed been shaken up. Whatever that means. I have learned about myself. As I've stepped out of "normal" life, I've been drawn nearer to Christ than ever before. The desire has been ever so present. I have been changed. I have been molded. And so yes, I can say that this time has been good. Very good.

OUT AND ABOUT.

2007-05-28T16:13:00.000-04:00

As I walked out the door of the homeless day centre last week, I glanced down the alley and saw this first photo. It took me on a journey from the low places to the high above...

SURREALITY ON THE SEA.

2007-05-28T09:13:00.000-04:00

Jig
Saw.
Pieces of the puzzle
Scattered about and around and underneath.
Back and forth
forth and back.
Eroded
Chiseled
Soft
White
Pieces
Making sense without sense
Transformed and made new.
Freshness and life

TANGY TEARS IN TRANSIT.

2007-05-19T15:39:00.001-04:00

As I knotted myself into a ball, murmurs began to pierce through the air of this stale familiar location. Prayers surrounded me from every direction. Cries. As tears poured from eyes, the sound of wailing resonated up to heaven. And I was thrown back to a day many months ago...

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forget that day in early January; and to tell the truth, something inside knows that I never want to. It was a typical British winter day close to the first of the year. The clouds in the dreary gray sky had already given way to a chilled darkness despite the fact that it was only mid-afternoon. And there I found myself, sprawled across the floor of my bedroom, head planted into a dirty faded cushion. Next to me a string of fairy lights slithered by. No power surged through them. No soft glimmer. The candles in front of me stood as strong pillars. Unlit. The room was silent. This was not a time to create a peaceful environment. Not here. Not now. For God had come down to meet with me in the mess of life. There, on that floor, our spirits connected and tears poured from my eyes.

And I wept.

With all truthfulness, I’m not quite sure whether it was me weeping or God himself. It was a moment so dark and so real. A moment I wanted to escape and yet one in which I longed to remain. The Spirit had planted a hunger and craving so deep in my heart that nothing of this world could satisfy. The programs. The schedules. The rhythms. The people. All these ‘good things’ were now barriers that needed destroyed so that the cornerstone could once again be laid upon a sturdy foundation. In that moment, words could not express what I felt.

Discipleship is not an easy thing. So often we want to magically be transformed into holiness without first passing through the fire. We run from the burning and the stretching and the molding. But God waits. And waits. He waits until we ask him to show us that this world was not created for us, but for his glory. It’s a dangerous prayer that passed through my lips just days before that fiasco on the floor.

And, I suppose that this is essentially what Transit is all about. It’s not about the communities that can sometimes seem so unsupportive. It’s not about the leaders that can appear to be sinners more often than saints. It’s not about the egotistical teachers who think that God is speaking the secret of life through them. Instead, it is about an army of pilgrims…of nomads…of imperfect individuals who Christ has called to be disciples in this place, at this time. It is a time of learning, truly learning, that knowing God must be the foundation on which we build our lives. It is a time of seeing that only then, when we see our Father’s heart, will we be able to love and spread his love through all the earth. It is a time of drawing us to the conclusion that “no man liveth unto himself.”

GLOBULUS MAXIMUS.

2007-05-14T12:20:00.000-04:00

Hmmm. That's interesting. Me and my brain.

RED WINE, HUGH GRANT & CRUSTY PAINT.

2007-05-11T10:49:00.000-04:00

As I stepped into the stale old church, I was unsure of what to make of this whole situation. Another week of prayer. Another week in Scotland.

The first couple days seemed normal. Setting up another prayer room. The same old thing. The room had been nicely sectioned off with various focuses. This was a ‘true’ 24-7prayer room. Sense the sarcasm. What began as a creative prayer movement has seemed to form cookie-cutter prayer rooms. But, enough on that. I had become used to this and wasn’t in the least bit surprised.

By Sunday evening, I had once again been thrown into Scottish culture. Maybe a bit different than hiking through the highlands, nibbling on the endless peanut butter ‘sandwiches’ and microwave meals. This time there was a warm bed and shower alongside an endless supply of wine at every meal. The second afternoon I found myself walking onto the lush grass of what appeared to be a movie set. I waited patiently to see if Hugh Grant would walk out the doors of his mansion and into the garden to greet me. Unfortunately, the only excitement was a double baptism in the poolhouse. That was enough for me.

Back to Sunday evening. The preparations were crammed into the last hours before the launch. As usual. And the room was now ready. In walked a couple middle-aged ladies. Doubts once again overtook my mind. But, before I knew it, the room was filled. With the elderly. With young children. With families. This was going to be a place of meeting with God. Holy encounters. Before I knew it, the silence had been sliced and I saw the hearts of these people. This tiny little town in the hills of Scotland was shouting up to God. And they were excited. It was like Christmas morning. A gift had been given to them. They couldn’t wait for their hour that was penciled in on the timetable outside the entrance.

My eyes were opened. As people flowed into the room throughout the week I was constantly encouraged. Challenged. Individuals came with broken hearts. Broken lives. They came with prayers on their lips and tears in their eyes. And they were drawn to their knees. A first experience for many. A call back to prayer. A call back to God their Father.

Soon, nothing much mattered. The format of the room. The paint-filled brushes that had been left to dry overnight. The sand all over the floor. It didn’t matter. God was meeting with people. As they took time out of their days and nights, their Father cradled them in his arms.

And I was refreshed. Over the last months I’ve been bogged-down by prayer. I’ve taken prayer rooms for granted. I’ve lost the excitement. I must constantly return to that place that I did this week. I must talk with God. I must shout to God from the depths of my heart. I must sing with Him. I must enter into that dance with Him. I must be a child again.

PRAYIN' IN SCOTLAND.

2007-05-11T09:41:00.000-04:00

APOSTOLIC PASSION.

2007-04-30T13:12:00.000-04:00

by Floyd McClung

What is Apostolic Passion?

The term "passion" is used to describe everything from romance to hunger pangs. I don't know what it means to you, but for me passion means whatever a person is willing to suffer for. In fact, that's the root meaning of the word. It comes from the Latin paserre, to suffer. It is what you hunger for so intensely that you will sacrifice anything to have it. The word "apostle" means a sent one, a messenger. "Apostolic Passion," therefore, is a deliberate, intentional choice to live for the worship of Jesus in the nations. It has to do with being committed to the point of death to spreading His glory. It's the quality of those who are on fire for Jesus, who dream of the whole earth being covered with the Glory of the Lord.

I know when apostolic passion has died in my heart. It happens when I don't spend my quiet time dreaming of the time when Jesus will be worshipped in languages that aren't yet heard in heaven. I know it's missing from my life when I sing about heaven, but live as if earth is my home. Apostolic passion is dead in my heart when I dream more about sports, toys, places to go and people to see, than I do about the nations worshipping Jesus. I have lost it, too, when I make decisions based on the danger involved, not the glory God will get.

Those who have apostolic passion are planning to go, but willing to stay. You know you have it when you are deeply disappointed that God has not called you to leave your home and get out among those who have never heard His name. If you will not suffer and sacrifice for something, you are not passionate about it. If you say you will do anything for Jesus, but you don't suffer for Him then you aren't really passionate about Him and His purposes on earth.

If you don't have it, how do you go about getting this thing called apostolic passion? Is it like ordering pizza at the door in 30 minutes or less, guaranteed? Is there an 800 number to call? Or better yet, just send us your special gift of $15 or more, and we'll rush you some passion, express delivery, overnight mail. If you're like me, you need help figuring out how to grow this thing called passion. I am motivated by reading how the apostle Paul got it. He chose it.

Paul says in Romans 15 that it is his ambition - his passion, if you will - to make Christ known. It began for him with a revelation of Jesus that he nurtured all his adult life. Paul not only encountered Christ on the road to Damascus, he kept on meeting Jesus every day. This revelation of Jesus, and his study of God's purposes, gave birth to Paul's apostolic passion. Knowing Jesus and making Him known consumed the rest of Paul's life. He "gloried in Christ Jesus in his service to God" (Rom 15:17). By comparison, everything else was dung, garbage, stinking refuse. Paul's ambition was born from his understanding that God longed for His Son to be glorified in the nations. It was focused so that the "Gentiles might become an offering acceptable to God, sanctified by the Holy Spirit" (Rom 15:16).

Human enthusiasm cannot sustain apostolic passion. When God invests His own passion in you - the desire to see His name glorified among all peoples - you must build and develop what God has given you.

If you have apostolic passion, you are one of the most dangerous people on the planet. The world no longer rules your heart. You are no longer seduced by getting and gaining but devoted to spreading and proclaiming the glory of God in the nations. You live as a pilgrim, unattached to the cares of this world. You are not afraid of loss. You even dare to believe you may be given the privilege of dying to spread His fame on the earth. The Father's passions have become your passions. You find your satisfaction and significance in Him. You believe He is with you always, to the end of life itself. You are sold out to God, and you live for the Lamb. Satan fears you, and the angels applaud you.

Your greatest dream is that His name will be praised in languages never before heard in heaven. Your reward is the look of pure delight you anticipate seeing in His eyes when you lay at His feet the just reward of His suffering: the worship of the redeemed.

You have apostolic passion!

GOOD NEWS.

2007-04-26T09:34:00.001-04:00

Today I had an MRI. I was told I had a very large brain. That's all.

LIFE AND DEATH.

2007-04-21T09:25:00.000-04:00

I leaned back against the raw wood of the high-backed hand-cut chair upon which I sat, and breathed deeply. The stale air was contrasting to that which lay amidst the mountains just outside the door. That air was crisp. That air was refreshing. Over the week, I had learned to love to be in a place of freedom. A place where the air swept through the wide-open spaces. A place where I was no longer confined or restricted. This place of which I found myself was somehow different. And I wanted to stay.

I took another sip from the glass of local brew that sat upon the table in front of me. Behind me were a group of Germans talking away in a language not understood. To my right were the crazy group of Belgians, probably chatting about their injured knees or sore feet or maybe even the tasty food of which they partook. In front of me a young boy and woman threw darts. Over and over. The goal was to get the numbers, in ascending order, from one to twenty. One by one. They seemed to be stuck on the number 6. Or was it seven? A laugh of excitement could be heard as they would finally hit the digit they were aiming for. Three darts dwindled to two as the feathers came flying off of one of their flying weapons. The laughter continued. Intermixed within these characters were a random assortment of others. All drinking away. Smiles abundant.

The structure of the room was worn. Huge wooden beams pierced through the open space up above. The hole in the surface of the table in front of me showed the age and wear and tear of this place. Two hundred and fifty years after its opening as a welcome to weary travelers, the bustle of activity was probably just as exciting as it was then. A bar man appeared at the counter and called out two orders. While the plates of freshly cooked beef sat there, unclaimed, I nearly darted up to claim them for myself. But, the man returned, only to carry the luke-warm plates off to the posh cocktail bar. He must have read the order ticket wrong, for we were in the ‘Climber’s Bar.’ We were not allowed the privilege to sit amongst the stately who were willing to pull bills from their pockets for a cozy bed and clean shower. Our tent was pitched along the river in the back, and from the shunned black back door we entered into this place. But I didn’t mind. As I peaked across the bar to the other side, I could see that we had received the better end of the deal. The wealthy and affluent had received nothing but a poorly decorated bar that looked as if it had been transplanted from another time period. At least our room had character.

I couldn’t help but be brought back to the same night two thousand years ago. As the people gathered in every corner and crevice of the city to celebrate the Passover, we too had gathered on this night. And we shared in each other’s company. We ate. We drank. And I’m sure that laughter filled the air on that night just as it did now. Yet in the jubilation of it all, they seemed to be missing what was right in front of them. Just as the beams shot through the space above me, so must have the words of Christ pierced their hearts on that night. The table around which we sat was empty. It was the center piece of the room. And yet only my brother and I sat in its oddly appealing chairs. And we talked amongst ourselves. We knew the secret of this night.

As the sun set, we exited that place of indulgence and crawled into the teal-colored rectangular fabric box that we had learned to make our home over the course of the last days. As we drifted off into our dreams, the rain began to fall. The sky that had been blue and without blemish over the past five days was veiled with grey as we awoke. Moisture filled the air. But we ventured off. Past rugged rocks and mounts that stood higher than us. The bitter air blew across the sweat that covered the surface of my forehead. The load on my back weighed me down as I climbed over the mountain. At each turn I would stop to gasp for air. And we continued on.

Children stood by the trail among the trees. Children with bland lost looks smeared across their faces. Had they been trapped in this place for too long? The trail was long in front of me. It stretched forward, as far as I could see, and faded into the horizon. The air was still dreary and cold. The bitterness kept digging into my skin.

The ground was dry. The plants were a mixture of shades of brown. The sheep were abundant. Dirty. Morbidly grazing and feeding on the scraggly death-like vegetation all around. My carefree mood had been changed to one of tiredness, longing for escape. I didn’t like this place. I wanted to be finished.

But it was only Friday.

THAT 'SMASHING' LAND UP THERE.

2007-04-16T17:28:00.000-04:00

UP UP AND AWAY.

2007-03-31T14:07:00.000-04:00

In a few hours, me and the bro will board a plane to head up to Scotland, where we will be hiking through the Highlands for two weeks. I'm sure that there will be many stories upon our return. I hope you have an incredible Easter, reflecting on all that this week means to our lives.

Much love to you all!
Aaron

HOT STUFF.

2007-03-21T13:36:00.000-04:00

How could life be complete without sporting that furry upper-lip? Step back with me to a time when it was actually fashionable to see these men on the streets.

Transit's Mr. Mustache Competition 2007. No, I didn't win. No, I'm not bitter.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mustachecompetition/sets/
72157594583079712/show/

A BITE OF AN APPLE.

2007-03-20T18:43:00.000-04:00

I hate the old cliche that says that it's the hard times that produce growth and strength and character and perseverance and blah blah blah...

I suppose it's true, though.

THE MESS.

2007-03-20T18:40:00.000-04:00

Sometimes we realize that life is just one big mess.

Messy people.
Messy programs.
Messy lives.

As much as we hate to, we accept this and move on...

the best we can.

LIFE.

2007-03-15T20:00:00.000-04:00

Last week I had a conversation with a friend back home. They were telling me how college life was difficult because of the lack of good relationships. They told me how they felt that they were misunderstood. They also told me that they feel like that is one of the most difficult feelings in life…to be misunderstood.

Today I found myself walking to meet with one of the big Transit leaders. I had been promised this meeting weeks ago and was looking forward to it since then. It was supposed to be a time of reflecting on Transit thus far, looking at this next term and then looking forward to the future. Sounded good. Trying to see how we could bridge the gap and make this course more individually catered.

As I walked, the reality hit me. Could the source of so many of my frustrations here be that I feel misunderstood? Could it be that I feel more like a project than a person? Less and less like an individual? Could this be the reason for the lack of life here?

One of the leaders of 24-7prayer has told us something that has really stuck with me in the past weeks. He was saying how there are 5 types of people in life: resourceful, teachable, important, nice & draining. The problem is that we spend most of our time in the Church with those last two. We must learn to instead surround ourselves with the first three. We must be with people who fuel our passions and visions. We must seek to be around those who energize us instead of drain us. This whole idea slams me in the face. I’ve completely learned the necessity of this in the last couple months. Note to self: remember this in the future.

So, back to the meeting, once again. It started with looking at how I’ve felt Transit has gone thus far. He already knew quite a bit of my past feelings and so I tried to focus more on the recent. In all honesty, I could talk for hours about the frustrations and how I think I’ve seen the good thus far. Today I couldn’t put much of it into words, though.
So, instead, I sat and listened to him tell me that he felt one of the biggest things for me was that I decided to stick this year out in the midst of difficulties. Being misunderstood. Are you serious?! I am not one who is about to quit simply to get away from the tough times. Again, I feel like a project instead of a person.

The meeting progressed and I soon found myself dumping my heart out. Ideas for the future. Dreams. Speaking of how lots of Transit has seemed to put ‘meat on the bones’ of those ideas. A mere twenty minutes had now passed. And the meeting was over. Misunderstood. Another thing to check off the list. A project.

I’m taken back to last spring. It was when I was really wrestling with ideas for the future. I found myself speaking with an individual about plans to be in Atlanta. Expecting some super-spiritual response from this particular person, I was taken aback when he responded in such a simple way. His advice was that choosing our next step in life must be highly influenced by the people we will be surrounded by. As simple as that. They must fuel our passions. They can’t just be ‘nice’ people.

So, how do we respond to this? I don’t believe that we can just choose to ignore those who are more difficult to get along with. We must still love them, despite the fact that they drain us. But, it is vital that we surround ourselves with those who understand us well…those who challenge and push us on. I’ve found glimpses of this in a few individuals here. But, man has it been difficult. To go from a place of having several deep life-bearing relationships to coming here and not being able to find these is tough. Being someone who is energized by others, this has killed me in many ways. And this may be one of the biggest reasons for feeling as if life has been squeezed out of me.

It’s a messy life we live. But I push on. With a lack of thriving, I search for new opportunities on my own. And things come. God provides. I will soon begin a project with homeless in downtown London. I’ll be helping teach these individuals photography skills and they will, in turn, document their lives in these homeless shelters. It will all end with an exhibition of their work.

Just as this opportunity looks ahead to mold me for the future, I ask for your prayers. Throughout the last couple weeks, I’ve been bombarded with thoughts about what’s next. I’m getting to the point where I feel that I need to decide on this. I don’t want July to come and I find myself sitting around with nothing to do and no direction to head. As for now, though, life goes on…

WHAT HAVE WE DONE WITH THIS KING OF GLORY?

2007-03-04T16:42:00.000-05:00

As my fingers push down upon the slick white keys on my Mac iBook, I listen to the soundtrack from RENT through my matching iPod headphones that fit snugly into my ears. The story of RENT is one that seemed to radically affect my thinking over a year ago. It’s a story, in its most basic form, of love. A story of broken lives that find themselves in a community of starving artists trying to make it through life. Struggles with suicide. Homelessness. AIDS. The mess of life.

What is our response to this thing called life? Several days ago, we sat through a training block revolving around the theme of Christ’s incarnation. Our theology and approach to life must be centered on the life of the Son of God. All of Scripture revolves around this single life. The Saviour of the world came and stepped into every day life. Reflect on the events of his ministry. Think of how he gazed into the eyes of the lame. The lepers. The blind. The last and the least.

The entire Bible is splashed with God’s heart for the poor.

"Is not this the fast that I choose:
to loose the bonds of wickedness,
to undo the straps of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to break every yoke?
Is it not to share your bread with the hungry
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover him,
and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,
and your healing shall spring up speedily;
your righteousness shall go before you;
the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.
Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer;
you shall cry, and he will say, 'Here I am.'
If you take away the yoke from your midst,
the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,
if you pour yourself out for the hungry
and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
and your gloom be as the noonday.
And the LORD will guide you continually
and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
like a spring of water,
whose waters do not fail.
And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt;
you shall raise up the foundations of many generations;
you shall be called the repairer of the breach,
the restorer of streets to dwell in.” (Isaiah 58:6-12)

I’ve recently been flipping through the pages of a book entitled ‘Under the Overpass.’ It’s a story of two college-aged guys who set five months of their lives aside to go live on the streets of America. They went from city to city, taking nothing but what was on their back and a guitar. No money. Panhandling was a must. The pages of their story reveal a terrifying truth about the Church. The loss of love that is rampant in our everyday lives is being covered up by our comfortable programs that allow us to ignore the broken and battered.

So, what does it mean to live incarnationally? What should our everyday lives look like? I think it’s more than scheduling in a certain number or hours each week to go and take part in a certain so-called ‘ministry.’ We must make it our mission, as Christ did, to step into the darkness and be salt and light. We must be a transforming presence in the place we find ourselves. Life. Living. Love.

Let’s escape our comfortable suburban prisons. Let’s actually love the unlovable. Let’s reconsider what it means to be the Church.

LOVE PART 2.

2007-02-18T15:39:00.000-05:00

I guess this is just the week of love...what perfect timing.

I have actually been meaning to slap this up here for the past day or two but am just getting around to it. Even now, I question the full reality or even truth of it all. Because this isn't a magical transformation, change is at times hard to see. But, I believe I have seen it slowly nudge into view.

Anyways...after that last post a couple days ago, I laid in bed waiting to go to sleep with thoughts scrolling through my mind as usual. I was taken aback to the very first days of January, before everyone had returned for the new term. This was before the major tensions broke out. I was taken aback to a prayer I prayed. I don't remember the specifics. All I remember is that it related to something I was reading and the author had warned me that this was a dangerous prayer. I prayed it anyways. The prayer was this: that I would realize the hugeness of God and how I can do absolutely nothing on my own. That this world and life is all about Him. I cried this out.

And as I lay in bed the other night, I put my hands part way around the reality of this. Putting God in charge of everything. That means relationships. That means love. That means joy. Could it be that the life was squeezed out of me at that point, when I prayed that prayer. Could it be that I'm so used to finding 'things' that bring me life? Could it be that I'm so used to loving others on my own. Finally, I'm realizing that I can't do it. My love will fail. My nice little human produced happiness that I have mistaken for joy will not cut it.

Do you realize the magnitude of coming to grips with this? My eyes are only beginning to be opened to the truth of it all. But, as I've acknowledged this & began to recognize my need for dependence, the life seems to be slowly trickling back. I realize it's a slow process, but I believe the bitterness is beginning to fade. The love may possibly be starting to shine through the cracks.

We must face this. God is only going to work when we give Him room. If we're trapped in thinking that we can produce a humanistic horizontal-plane love, then we will become weary. The love must vertically come down from above. It must be an overflow and response to our Father's love for us. This is true life.

BEFORE & AFTER.

2007-02-18T15:09:00.000-05:00

THAT FUNNY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE.

2007-02-12T17:54:00.000-05:00

Time for honesty. Read on if you so desire.

As I walked home from the prayer room last night I realized something. The current state of life here on Transit is always playing through my mind. But, as I walked, the entirety of my time here spanned across my thoughts. Five months down. While those days are threaded together as a whole, I can hardly help but view them as two seperates.

At the end of November life on Transit changed. How I see it, our trip to Northern Ireland was the breaking point. Before that trip I was mostly content with being here. Things were going alright. I was enjoying my time. I was happy. I was having fun. And things were good for the most part. In stepped Ireland and with it came a chance to remove myself a bit from the group. As I stepped back, I saw frustration after frustration. When it came down to it, I realized it was mostly rooted in a lack of prayer. We were building our lives on what appeared to be an unstable foundation. That weekend changed my heart and changed my mind. Suddenly I wasn't content with how things were on Transit. I was frustrated. And I no longer enjoyed being here. The life seemed to be squeezed out of me. After an incredible time with the family over the holidays, I stepped back into life here on Transit. I knew I had to now put my words into action. I wouldn't just talk about praying more. I would do it. This brought about 3 weeks of fasting and with that came an extreme hunger for God. That yearning was planted in my heart and has continued to grow.

Through these last couple months, God has burdened me with the idea that our lives must be centered on prayer and knowing Him. As I see it, everything will result from that. The picture I have is of Him pouring love into our lives that overflows out onto the lives of others. This makes complete sense. Yet I'm left confused.

During this past chunk of time of intimacy with God, where has the life gone? Why has falling more in love with Him resulted in falling more away from people? Shouldn't it be the other way around? Why, as I crave God more and more, do I keep getting frustrated with the fact that I don't enjoy life here? I pray that I would have joy. I pray that my heart would be changed so that I would have an abundance of love for others. Nothing. Does this not seem like a huge contradiction and unexplainable tension?

As I walked back from the prayer room tonight, I was left with the question of whether I am needing to see that I can't love on my own. If that's what God is trying to get across to me, I understand. I see it. Now can we move on? Can I have an outpouring of love and an extra dose of grace? I need it and that's turning into my prayer.

DESPERATE OBSESSION.

2007-02-11T18:07:00.000-05:00

Whoever decided that a prayer room had to be normal? Zones. Requests. Lists. They all seem to look the same. Christmas Lights. Maps. Candles. Fabric. Paper. Paints. While I've only experienced a few within 24-7, I'm already bored with them. The creativity just seems to be lacking. We were determined to change that.

Many frustrations filled a few of us as this prayer week approached us. Like many things here, we didn't seem to found this week on prayer. Suddenly, it was a week before the launch and I wanted to have nothing to do with it. That changed last Monday. After a bit of (positive) complaining, our week got switched around a bit to give us more of a focus on this prayer room. Monday morning was the beginning of it as we found ourselves in an empty room praying for vision. A few of us came back with a similar desire we had already had for a prayer room...a completely white room. We spoke of painting the room white. But, that may upset a few people. We spoke of bringing in bunches of boards that were painted white. But, with a lack of budget, that would not be affordable. We spoke of white fabric. But, in my opinion, that just looks tacky. What to do?

As I've explained to a few people in the past, I am confident that the biggest task for an artist is learning to problem solve. It's at the root of all art. So, here I was again. Still not really wanting to have much to do with this room. Yet my mind was going wild. What about Post-It notes? Cover the room entirely. But, they don't stick to bricks too well. And, I'm not even sure if they make white ones. Although we do know someone here who works for 3M, which would be a plus. Why not just cut up 1/4 sheets of paper and stick them to the wall with sticky tack? By now the ball was rolling as me and Pinky (David) discussed the options.

Soon I realized that I really didn't like the idea of a purely white room. Throughout the week, the prayer 'graffiti' would make it more and more sloppy looking. It would unpurify the purity. Red. A red room. With only white paint and chalk allowed to be used. A single white light in the middle. Day after day, the room would be transformed from a red room to one of whiteness as the prayers splattered across the walls. Performance art. Call the Tate Modern, an art installation was about to step into an old rugged church.

A group of us found ourselves finishing the room last night and praying over the week that has now begun. During our prayer time, we found ourselves crying out to God to reveal his radical wild side during this week. As I gazed around at the nearly 6000 pieces of red paper, I could not get past their obsessive nature. The whole room evokes this quality. The words 'DESPERATE OBSESSION' kept scrolling through my mind again and again. I realized that these are not just words to label this room, although that is now it's name. They are more. They are words that I long to be a description for my life. I pray that I would be deserately obsessed with running after God. I'm sick of this 'happy Christian' mentality that we have. Tonight I found us singing 'sweet lullabies' to our Saviour. Is this really worship? Where is the heart? Where is the depth? Where is the honesty? Listen to our prayers. Where is the desperation?

I ask that you pray for this week of 24-7. Pray that God would show up in huge ways. Pray that we would see more of Him. Pray that our view would be massive...that it would extend beyond the walls that we've unintentionally built around Him. Pray that we would each learn what it means to have a desperate obsession for God.

I'M GETTING OLD.

2007-02-07T08:58:00.000-05:00

Thanks to all of you who sent greetings to make yesterday a day to remember! Here's how the day played out...

Upon arriving home from a days work at the Construction Bus, I was greeted by cards, candles, and a banner spilled out across my room with the above cake (see the resemblance?) and a rendition of "Happy Birthday" as I opened the door. A delicious dinner was awaiting and as the moments went by I had to work to receive my gifts from the team. Very good gifts, I must admit. But I had to work to figure out riddles that told me what was inside. After dessert I was blindfolded and tossed in the minibus for a short trip to a surprise destination. After another walk with no sight I found myself in Windsor, home of the queen's country castle. There, we celebrated English style with drinks in a local pub before traveling home.

A day for the books filled with many surprises and much excitement. Another year down, another year older, THE BIG 2-3...

GOD'S STORY.

2007-02-05T12:15:00.000-05:00

06FEB07 Neh 1-2
07FEB07 Neh 6:15-7:3
08FEB07 Neh 8-9
09FEB07 Mal 3-4
10FEB07 s-i-l-e-n-c-e

HOSPITALITY.

2007-01-30T18:41:00.000-05:00

The end of last week was spent at a training block in London. The theme was hospitality. The speaker was Phil Togwell, a big voice within 24/7prayer. Here are his reflections (3 parts) on our time together. Could this calling of hospitality be the heartbeat of the gospel?

http://toggietales.typepad.com/toggie_tales/2007/01/transit_the_tog_2.html

GOD'S STORY.

2007-01-29T08:44:00.000-05:00

30JAN07 Dan 5-7
31JAN07 Dan 9; 12
01FEB07 Ezra 1; 3
02FEB07 Ezra 4-5
03FEB07 Hag 1-2
04FEB07 Ezra 6-7
05FEB07 Ezra 8-9

EXACT HALFWAY POINT of Transit: 06FEB07...my birthday!

ANOTHER GLIMPSE.

2007-01-26T16:03:00.000-05:00

Ok. Ok. I suppose this photo more fully shows the affects of the land of the English.

WONDER.

2007-01-24T04:38:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was another day on Transit. I found myself, once again, at the Construction Bus project serving local teens. A lot of the day was spent talking to another of the guys on our team about frustrations here. Yet again. Over my weeks of fasting I definitely felt removed from the community with a lack of meal times, etc. And, the impression I had was that everyone was content with how things were going. We had new schedules. People seemed more excited about them. How wrong I was. There are others here who are even more dissatisfied than before. This so-called '40 days of prayer' has turned out to be a label. And that's where it's ended for the group. Nothing is changing. The worst is that our group leadership doesn't seem to realize. Yet we all do. Things will be said soon.

So, anyways, after a long day of analyzing Transit, we soon found ourselves walking home and still talking. Know that we're trying to handle this in the most positive way possible. We all hate that it's turned into what can seem to be complaints and bickering. Pray that we'll have critical minds but not critical spirits and hearts. Like I was saying. We were walking home before dinner late yesterday afternoon. The weather was cold. Colder than it's been. Quite the contrast from the sunny warmth of this past weekend. So, of course I was commenting yet again on the lack of snow. From what seemed like Day 1, I was informed that it doesn't snow here. Don't dream it up. We'll get a few light snows and that's about it. I held onto that reality, no matter how discouraging it was. (I still think it's going to snow on my birtday, though.) Anyways...we found ourselves talking about old childhood memories. The days when you'd go to bed and it would be snowing like crazy and all you could do was pray that school would be cancelled in the morning. Those were the days. When you'd watch the news and see your school scan across the screen with a big bold 'CANCELLED' below it. Or the days when you'd wake up in the morning and your room would seem just a bit brighter than normal. You'd turn to look out the window and everything would be coated in white. But not here in England. It will be freezing cold. It will rain. But, get over your hopes for snow. Blame it on global warming.

After dinner last night I found myself talking to a couple more individuals on our team about Transit. More frustrations. It's a different program than we came for. This is not the year-out program we read about on the 24-7 website. The opinions are the same. It may be great in theory but it's not happening in reality. We're not living lives of prayer. And the leadership isn't doing anything about it. So, we're going to. Change is going to come.

At one point, crazy prayer ideas were brought up, like staying up all night or just doing things out of the ordinary. Getting away from the typical 'prayer time.' So, I walked away encouraged and decided that I would stay up all night. Just trying out something new. Keeping 'night watch'.

I was soon in my room with some christmas lights on and a bunch of candles lit. Music was quietly playing on my computer. I was kneeling on the floor. It was 11pm. By 11:30pm I was laying on my back covered with my duvet. Asleep. I kept waking up during the next couple hours, obviously uncomfortable from the hard floor. The candles were still burning. The CD had finished so it was completely silent. And I went back to sleep. Finally, at 5:30am, I was wide awake. I jumped up, dissapointed and frustrated that I hadn't kept very good 'watch.' Another attempt at prayer failed. But, as I stood up, something caught my eye outside. The roofs next door were glowing. They were white. It had snowed!

My first thought was that I should kneel back down and attempt to bring in the morning with some prayer. That wasn't logical. I put my jacket, scarf, and gloves over my three layers I still had on from yeserday. I took a couple gulps of juice, slipped on my boots and silently crept out the door.

A whole new world awaited me outside. I felt like a kid again. As I look back over my life, I can't think of any 'first snows'. None of them are memorable. But, there was something different about this. It was still completely dark as I began walking down the sidewalk. With each step I formed a fresh new crunchy footprint. The sidewalk was a blank canvas. No one had walked this way yet. It was still early morning. Cars rushed by, seeming to miss the newness of it all. They were on their way to work. They didn't have time to enjoy. They didn't have time to look. They didn't have time to wonder.

I soon found myself walking across fields where muddy footpaths usually lie. For the first time I noticed somthing about the snow at night. With the lack of light, I realized that I would typically be in pitch-black at this hour in this location. But this morning was different. The darkness had been overcome. Dominated. The snow gave off a somewhat mystical light. I could see the hills in the distance. The trees seemed illuminated. But, the cars far off to the right kept zooming by.

An hour or so later I found myself sitting on a bench still trying to take it all in. The sun still had a while before it would rise. As I sat there, I thought about the dreams I had just had in my restlessness of half-way sleeping through the night. I began to wonder whether this was a dream. Was I sitting in a dream right now? I had the sense that God had drawn me out into this vast place to show me this. To see his glory. Chills fill my body even as I type. I assured myself that it wasn't all a dream. But, I also assured myself that God was trying to speak. I began thinking around the whole idea of grace and how snow is one of the best pictures of it. I think about the movie "Crash." What a brilliant film that is. Yet, what strikes me each time I watch it is the fact that it snows at the end. In California. In Hollywood. We finally get a glimpse into all these lives. Messed up lives. Yet lives moving towards redemption and change. So much negativity is pictured in that film. Yet you see that the people are trying despite their constant failures. Then, at the very end, the snow begins to fall. Over each of them. Over the death and decay that has just been pictured. It's unexplainable. It's warm California. It's unexpected. Not normal. Grace.

And so, as I sat there this morning. I saw grace poured out across this place. It was as if God was assuring me that my time is in his hands. Not that I don't need to work to bring about change here, but that he is so much bigger and can do so much more than I could ever do on my own. He wants to be in charge. He is the Creator who poured out a beautiful pure coating across the mud and muck last night. I mean, honestly, is there really a point of snow? Do we really need this moisture to fall from the sky and turn solid and white when it gets cold enough? No. Not at all. But look at the beauty in it. Look at the joy it brings.

I kept on walking from that place. Down trails through the woods. Across bridges. With each step, the first footprint on fresh snow. Crunch after crunch. It was like I had stepped into a fairy tale land. I walked by gnarly old trees coated in snow. The backdrop was a soft pastel pink and blue as the sun came up. I passed by bushes with purple flowers peeking out from underneath the fluffy coating. I passed college dormitories, the lights still out. Not a person to be seen. As I walked by the river, I came to a park. There sat a police car...the police man beside it leaning over and rolling a snowball across the pavement as if to be making a snowman. I slowly walked by, knowing that I hadn't been noticed. But, as I was nearly past, still watching him out of the corner of my eye, he jumped up to a standing position and quickly huried to his car, opening the trunk. He had seen me and acted as if he had been 'caught'. This is life! In England people don't make eye-contact with you as they pass you on the street. They look away. This morning strangers actually looked me in the eye. We exchanged smiles and 'good-morning' greetings. But, the cars still rushed by, seemingly unaffected by it all. Five minutes later, I heard a siren and that same police man was on the chase to track someone down. I hope his joy wasn't that short-lived.

I returned home 3 1/2 hours later. The sidewalks were now just wet and slushy. Footprints were all over the place. The snow in our back yard is nearly completly melted. And I had missed a prayer meeting that I was planning to intend. But, that's fine by me. And, I don't think God is too disappointed either. This morning I stood in awe of Him. Holy wonder. Satisfaction and thanksgiving. It really was all quite surreal. And, I wonder if it was a gift just for me. A dream. Visual words from my Creator.

FOOD.

2007-01-22T16:59:00.000-05:00

A new twist on this blog. Food. Yum. I just got done making and consuming one of the best smelling and best tasting meals of my life. You must try this. Or, when I get back to the States you can ask & (if you're lucky) I might just possibly make it for you.

LAMB AND TOMATO STEW
from an Italian Farmhouse

Makes 4 servings

I love this exceedingly simple stew, typical of farmhouse cooking in southern Italy, because of its intense flavors. The lamb and tomato seem to melt together. One of the reasons these kinds of southern Italian stews taste so good is because the marrow-rich shank bones are used, which enrich the gravy. Another is that they are cooked with wine, and wine in stew is so perfect that many Italian cooks associate one with the other. This is a wintertime stew, as you might guess from the fact that I call for canned tomatoes, fresh ones being out of season and generally not very good tasting at that time of year.

3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 medium-size onion, chopped
2-1/2 pounds lamb shank and shoulder on the bone,
trimmed of any large pieces of fat and cut into chunks
5 garlic cloves, finely chopped
1 cup robust red wine
One 28-ounce can crushed tomatoes
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

In a casserole, heat the olive oil over medium-high heat. Cook the onion until translucent, stirring, about 5 minutes. Brown the lamb on all sides, about 8 to 10 minutes. Add the garlic, wine, and tomatoes and season with salt and pepper. Reduce the heat to low and simmer, uncovered, until the meat is soft, about 4 hours.

GOD'S STORY.

2007-01-22T12:27:00.000-05:00

23JAN07 Is 40; 42
24JAN07 Is 43-44
25JAN07 Is 45-47
26JAN07 Is 48-50
27JAN07 Is 52-54
28JAN07 Is 55-56; 58
29JAN07 Is 60-62; 64

WORDS.

2007-01-22T12:16:00.000-05:00

So I just got off the phone with Tim. He called to tell me he had received some words for me over the weekend. For those of you who don't know, Tim is the one who is at the head of Transit and in charge of keeping it running. My encounters with him have been brief until the last couple weeks. Anyways...he told me to test this, but really felt over the weekend that Isaiah 62:10-12 (especially verse 10) were words for me. And, then, on Sunday at church I guess the preacher brought John 1 (verse 23) into the message. He felt this was a confimation. I'm going to meditate on this a bit more and pray into it, but as I read over Isaiah 62, chills went down my spine. There's something there. And definitely in verse 10. Tim was saying that he believes these last couple weeks of life here have just been preparation for me. That they've been a time of visitation from God. That there is something ahead.

I'm not sure what all this means. But, for those of you prayer supporters, lift this up as a request. Love you all!

"Go through, go through the gates;
prepare the way for the people;
build up, build up the highway;
clear it of stones;
lift up a signal over the peoples."
-ISAIAH 62:10

A DAY TO REMEMBER.

2007-01-20T10:28:00.000-05:00

TO ALL MY FAITHFUL READERS...

I know there are some of you out there who get up at the break of dawn, tiptoe to the computer & quickly click on the link you have saved for this blog. On the majority of days you return to bed, frustrated and disappointed that nothing has been posted. Today is different. This day is for you. Following, you will find so many morsels of goodness that you won't be able to return to bed due to an overabundance of joy. I mean, what more could you ask for? Photos from my family's travels to Scotland. Views of the British countryside. Words of challenge. And even a picture of me! Gosh. Could life get any better?! Once again, today is for you, my faithful (and maybe closet) readers. Thanks so much for your ongoing prayers and support. Much love!

JUST A GLIMPSE.

2007-01-20T10:22:00.000-05:00

So...nearly 5 months have come and gone & I haven't yet allowed you to glimpse what this crazy culture has done to me. Today, that changes. According to a good friend, this picture is "the perfect fusion of artsiness and Britishness." (Thanks, Dunkel.) I'll let you be the judge.

EDINBURGH & BEYOND.

2007-01-20T09:41:00.000-05:00

THE ENGLISH COUNTRYSIDE.

2007-01-20T09:12:00.000-05:00

ABIDING IN CHRIST.

2007-01-20T08:23:00.000-05:00

I just turned off the oven, having baked a luscious dark chocolate cheesecake. My stomach is now feeling a bit sick from licking the spoon too many times. There is a false feeling of spring in the air on this sunny 50 degree day. I sit on my bed with my bedroom door open and can hear the birds chirping outside. Life can be funny sometimes. Todays God's Story reading was from Ezekiel 3-5. This text is full of images of food. Eating scrolls that taste like honey on the tongue. Ezekiel being commanded to lay on his side for over a year and eat nothing but barley cakes. (Forget the fact that it had to be cooked on cow dung.) Food. I know, I know. The story speaks of so much more than that. It is God's message to the prophet Ezekiel of his coming judgment. Quite sad, in fact. These chosen people whom God has set apart as his own have now been exiled out of the Promised Land. Years and years of wandering to get there. Miracle after miracle. Graciousness abundant. And then they demand human kings. Man-made rulers. In the place of God. From there it all goes downhill. Wickedness. False worship. God has been abandoned by his people.

I say that life is funny sometimes because this morning was my first time of consuming food since the 29th of December. 22 days. I write these words not to boast...not with a prideful arrogant spirit. Instead, I write with a message. A reality. A truth. A challenge. The truth is that I have never really dipped my hands into this whole fasting discipline before. I've heard it's important. I've read it's important. I mean, didn't Jesus say, "WHEN you fast..." (Mt. 6:16)? Sounds like we should be doing it, I suppose. But, the couple times I've fasted in the past, only for a few days, I haven't really seen the vitality of it all. Until these past three weeks. Over these last weeks, my prayer to have a yearning after God has been answered. My cry to be proactive in disciplining myself to run after him has been heard. I have ran with God. I have danced with God. I have sung with God. I have spoken with God. And I have wept with God.

Fasting is a spiritual discipline that has been ignored for far too many years. Last night, I scrolled down to my previous post that contained a quote on fasting in Richard Foster's "Celebration of Discipline." The reality of it is sad, yet true:

"Where are the people today who will respond to the call of Christ? Have we become so accustomed to ‘cheap grace’ that we instinctively shy away from more demanding calls to obedience? ‘Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross.’ Why has the giving of money, for example, been unquestionably recognized as an element in Christian devotion and fasting so disputed? Certainly we have as much, if not more, evidence from the Bible for fasting as we have for giving. Perhaps in our affluent society fasting involves a far larger sacrifice than the giving of money."

Could it be that the Church has shoved fasting aside because it comes at far too great a cost? In our wealthy affluent Western society, it's easy to drop a ten dollar bill in the offering plate on Sunday. We know we have enough. It really isn't that great of a sacrifice. (Don't get me wrong...I understand the importance of tithing and am no way trying to reduce that). Fasting demands us to give up something that ties us down to this world. It demands that we untie ourselves from pleasure that comes from this earth, craving after God instead. It calls us to say that we are not in charge of this life...that this world wasn't made for us. It points our lives to God, through the power of the Spirit.

We must come to this revelation. We must long to be satisfied in God alone. Only when we give up our lives and carry the cross of Christ will we be able to whole-heartedly follow God. Yes, God has grace. And that's amazing news. But he has given us a choice to follow him...to love him...to glorify him. Otherwise we would be his mechanical toys set upon this earth. This life is not easy. No one every promised it to be, not even Christ himself (Jn. 15:18-25). But if we are abiding in Christ, it will be better than easy...it will be good.

THE DAY HAS COME.

2007-01-17T07:09:00.000-05:00

So that all may know...

After 4 1/2 months of talk, our house finally stepped into the 21st Century with the addition of a phone and wireless internet. There is much rejoicing!

If you would like to reach me, use one of the following methods:

SNAIL-MAIL
4 Runnymede Ct.
Egham
Surrey
TW20 9AA
UNITED KINGDOM

PHONE
011441784470190

EMAIL
aaron.daniel.leu@gmail.com

SKYPE
Aaron Leu

GOD'S STORY.

2007-01-17T07:06:00.000-05:00

16JAN07 Jer 3-5
17JAN07 2Ki 24-25
18JAN07 Dan 1-3
19JAN07 Eze 1-2
20JAN07 Eze 3-5
21JAN07 Lam 1; Jer 29
22JAN07 Jer 31; Eze 37

25 THINGS I AM LEARNING.

2007-01-11T12:00:00.000-05:00

1. Busyness is never the answer.
2. Stillness is key to knowing God.
3. It all begins with knowing my Father’s heart.
4. ‘Good things’ are possibly not the most glorifying to God.
5. This isn’t my story.
6. People have different opinions for a reason.
7. Love must come before influence.
8. Sometimes I overestimate my own self-control.
9. I must cry out for longing after God.
10. Prayer is more about listening than speaking.
11. Converting people is not the answer.
12. God doesn’t need me—yet He pursues me.
13. Miscommunication can kill.
14. God laughs, dances & cries.
15. Fasting must be developed as a lifestyle.
16. Slow walks are vital.
17. Kneeling with my face in the ground is the best position.
18. We must reflect the power behind our prayers.
19. Glorifying God is my purpose.
20. Acting upon unsatisfaction takes effort.
21. The Church needs to refresh.
22. Don’t try to figure out God—just have faith.
23. Brokenness must occur.
24. Others are on this earth for a reason—but they’re not perfect.
25. Frustrations are often my best learning tool.

GOD'S STORY.

2007-01-10T04:37:00.000-05:00

09JAN07 Is 7-8
10JAN07 Is 9-10
11JAN07 Is 11-12
12JAN07 2Ki 18-19
13JAN07 Is 36-39
14JAN07 2Ki 21-23
15JAN07 Jer 1-2

THOUGHTS FROM THE TOZER.

2007-01-09T17:04:00.000-05:00

"Our Heavenly Father: Let us see Thy glory, if it must be from the shelter of the cleft rock and from beneath the protection of Thy covering hand. Whatever the cost to us in loss of friends or goods or length of days let us know Thee as Thou art, that we may adore Thee as we should. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."

The world is evil, the times are waxing late, and the glory of God has departed from the church as the fiery cloud once lifted from the door of the Temple in the sight of Ezekiel the prophet.
The God of Abraham has withdrawn His conscious Presence from us, and another God whom our fathers knew not is making himself at home among us. This God we have made and because we have made him we can understand him; because we have created him he can never surprise us, never overwhelm us, nor astonish us, nor transcend us.
The God of glory sometimes revealed Himself like a sun to warm and bless, indeed, but often to astonish, overwhelm, and blind before He healed and bestowed permanent sight. This God of our fathers wills to be the God of their succeeding race. We have only to prepare Him a habitation in love and faith and humility. We have but to want Him badly enough, and He will come and manifest Himself to us.

Shall we allow a saintly and thoughtful man to exhort us? Hear Anselm; or better still, heed his words:
"Up now, slight man! Flee for a little while thy occupations; hide thyself for a time from thy disturbing thoughts. Cast aside now thy burdensome cares, and put away thy toilsome business. Yield room for some little time to God, and rest for a little time in Him. Enter the inner chamber of thy mind; shut out all thoughts save that of God and such as can aid thee in seeking Him. Speak now, my whole heart! Speak now to God, saying, I seek Thy face; Thy face, Lord, will I seek."

...Because God’s nature is infinite, everything that flows out of it is infinite also. We poor human creatures are constantly being frustrated by limitations imposed upon us from without and within. The days of the years of our lives are few, and swifter than a weaver’s shuttle. Life is a short and fevered rehearsal for a concert we cannot stay to give. Just when we appear to have attained some proficiency we are forced to lay our instruments down. There is simply not time enough to think, to become, to perform what the constitution of our natures indicates we are capable of.

How completely satisfying to turn from our limitations to a God who has none. Eternal years lie in His heart. For Him time does not pass, it remains; and those who are in Christ share with Him all the riches of limitless time and endless years. God never hurries. There are no deadlines against which He must work. Only to know this is to quiet our spirits and relax our nerves.

-A.W. Tozer, THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE HOLY

THIS CRAZY THING WE CALL LIFE.

2007-01-09T16:03:00.000-05:00

This has been an insane set of days. To catch you up to date, let me toss you some emails ranging in time from yesterday afternoon to this evening. Follow their progress. Read them. Think. Be challenged. Send me feedback.

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(Monday 8th January:mid-afternoon) So…an update on the situation here. I know I've expressed to many of you over the past two weeks how frustrated I was with what seemed like a lack of movement in the right direction here. Well, I had a brief glimpse of change coming, but that quickly faded away. Very quickly. And, now I'm left with more frustration than ever and am becoming extremely tired of fighting for what seems to be the right and obvious.

Here are more specifics. Over the last month, I've really been pushing for a period of 40 days set aside at the beginning of this term and new year to focus solely on the inward spiritual disciplines of fasting, study, meditation & prayer. Because I'm such a 'doing' person, I really saw this as an extreme way of breaking out of this & getting a glimpse of the power of prayer. So, I presented this to the group at the end of last term & it seemed like a likely idea.

Then, in comes Term 2. The new schedule of our weeks came out on Wednesday & our leaders decided to make these next 40 days ones with a prayer focus. It looked good on the surface. The truth, though, is that the rest of our schedules really weren't that much less filled than last term. So, throughout the week all that I am left with is half the day on Wednesday and half the day on Thursday to really jump into it. That's also no time set aside for artwork. I remember reading how these boiler rooms were places of studio space for artists. The description for Transit spoke of how there would be time to pursue after this. Seeing as my art is a God-given gift that I plan to use in big ways in the future, I believe it is vital to continue to develop those skills. No time.

I must also let you know that the last week and a half has been one of the most spiritually intense times of my life. For the last couple years, it's been my prayer that I would actually have the desire to whole-heartedly seek after God. During these last 10 days of fasting, the longing has come in a very real way. My heart cries to fully start with a firm foundation of knowing God. In all honesty, I don't feel like I truly know God's heart. I haven't grasped his glory. So, throughout these past few days, it's been even heavier on my heart to take 40 days out and just solely focus on seeking God without the distraction of service/doing. I've prayed again and again that this idea would go away if it wasn't from God. I still feel that drive to fight for it.

Over the last days I've also gained this incredible mindset for what ministry should actually look like. We were created for God's glory. Bottom line. We can't do anything until we come around that fact. Otherwise we're coming up with our own human purposes and agendas. It's what the Church has fallen into. And, that's what I see here. So, I'm determined to know God. That has to be the basis of it all. Christ has invited us to team with him in his work in this world and yet we can't reflect his love unless we know it. I don't truly believe I know that love. That must change.

Today I met with one of my leaders, "Joe." I expressed how this whole longing to set aside time apart from service is obviously not from me. I've never had this desire in my life because I'm so focused on filling my life with doing stuff. But, the longing is here. His response was that there is no way I could take 40 days and set them aside without doing any service. He informed me that we have too close of ties with the youth ministry, east to west, so that's not possible. His question was, "Wouldn't you feel like you were missing something if you had no outward focus?" I feel trapped and limited by this schedule they've given me. I'm crying out to have more time to long after and know God. Their response: sorry…that's too bad.

So, now, here I am. I feel as if I'm in a place that is putting agendas and ministries and plans above knowing God. We had a discussion today about the Church and what it is. A rather lengthy discussion. I presented many of these new ideas I've had. Pretty much everyone else seems to be in the boat that prayer and service are equal, you can't separate them or have one without the other. While this is true to an extent, I don't believe we can effectively serve without knowing and loving God. That MUST come first! And, people just don't understand that.

What I'm left with is the honest question of whether I should be using valuable time and money to be in a place such as this. It seems to be so limiting to me…as if my heart is running full speed towards God and I keep slamming into these walls that people are setting up. I want and need your guys' honest feedback on this. Please. Doesn't this seem extremely bizarre to you, seeing as it's all a part of 24-7Prayer…a PRAYER movement?! Honestly tell me if my ideas are off. And pray for this whole situation. Tomorrow I have a brief meeting with Tim, the leader of Transit. At the end of last term, I thought he understood my approach, but after helping schedule this term and then hearing his view on the Church, I'm beginning to doubt.

Thanks for reading. Much love to each of you from the UK!

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Update #2…2 hours later...

Upon sending that last email, I went into my room, bowed down on my knees & buried my face into the floor. And I wept. And for the first time in my life I felt like God's Spirit was weeping within me.

Here's what I realize. God has given me this burning heart to see transformation. I am confident that this is not of myself because I am all about coming up with my own plans and ways of doing things and having them nicely arranged and organized and figured out. But my heart is screaming to trust God with His plans. It's a radical approach…a start from prayer and knowing God.

So I go to Transit and ask, what if this was an answer…what if this was a solution to why we're living such ineffective lives. What if we tried this? What if we had a new approach to our service? What if we saw our plans in light of knowing God's heart? What if this is what I need to see change in my own life?

And the feedback I receive: refusal. I'm sorry…we're tied down to this and this and this…we have our own programs and agendas…this is how it is here.

And I'm left with confusion. Am I off the mark? Despite the prayers to weed away the selfishness, are these my own prideful thoughts? Why is this so heavy on my heart?

Is this a program about God's glory? Or is it a program that is seeking to transform lives through their own set plans and strategies?

-----

Update #3…a day later…

I just got back from meeting with Tim. I am now left with a renewed hope in life, Transit, leadership in general and God. What was said was not at all what I was expecting…or honestly wanted. But, I am confident that this is what I needed to hear.

First things first, the schedule will not change. There will be no 40 days without service. These next days will not be a time when I will necessarily physically see what birthing my service in prayer means. I will not be able to get rid of all those ‘doing’ distractions. That is something that is rooted much deeper than Transit or 24-7. It is based on east to west, the charity that is over the boiler room. As I now understand it, they are the ones in charge. Tim told us yesterday that we wouldn’t be able to have 40 days without doing anything. Today he told me that when he said that he really wanted to say, “I’m sorry.” He has leadership above him that he must obey. That’s the way it has to be right now. Pray that that would change.

I know I expressed the frustration of the lack of time to pursue art during my time here. There’s no question that this will change. I’m going to go with Tim into London on Friday to look at the boiler room there as it supposedly has an ample number of rooms that would be perfect for studio space.

The big thing Tim told me today was that he believes I have a prophetic message. This is a message that must be told. And he told me that it’s a message that must be pushed in. It’s huge and God’s heart is behind it. He feels like the message is for here. He feels like it’s for people like east to west. He feels it’s for people like Transit. But he also says that I have to question that. He says that I must really dive into prayer and question whether this message is for someone else. If it is for them at this moment in time, then maybe I need to move on and declare this message to them. But, Tim’s opinion was that God has planted this message in my heart and he is using this time to mold me. It is a message that I must carry wherever I find myself in the world in September and in the next 50 years.

A big thing to think about. I think this might be vital for some of you back home as well (a.k.a. “Illuminate”). This was the last thought/challenge Tim placed in my mind as he dropped me off a few minutes ago. It is this: Is this message that I have seemed to be given being preached out of a place of love? Could that be a missing link? We’re told that if we’re not doing things out of love than it’s like a gong or clanging cymbal. Is this the reason we’re hearing these clashes from the people we’re trying to get the message across to? We need to probably first be praying for a radical love for them. Otherwise it’s just preaching AT them. We’re a shepherd with no sheep. Love for others is key and goes hand in hand with loving God. This is probably the hardest part. But it could be the missing link.

Thank you all so much for your prayers in this desperate time. God is faithful! The hard times are by no means over. But, like I said, there is a renewed hope.

Much love,
Aaron

THE RETURN OF THE SNOW-GLOBE.

2006-12-30T12:46:00.002-05:00

I know it’s late, but as they say here in the U.K., ‘Happy Christmas!’ I hope you all were able to spend the last week in incredible ways, rediscovering the wonder of this season. I’m probably now writing these posts to no one, seeing as I’ve lost all regular readers due to a near month of silence. But, I’ll continue on anyways. Wireless internet is to fill this house within the next two weeks, so that should solve the problem.

Early yesterday morning, the family flew out of Heathrow airport. That put an end to an amazing 2 ½ week time spent together. Never before have I valued them so much, as we were able to travel on adventures together and just be together to encourage and challenge one another. From England to Scotland…from bustling London to laid-back Bonsall…from Windsor castle to Edinburgh castle…it was definitely a Christmas to remember.

It’s hard to know what to post on here, as the last month has held so much. To give you a summary, this is an update on Transit: Previously, I had stated that I had the realization that I was a snow-globe. It’s probably an over-the-top cheesy analysis, but this will have to do. Now, instead of gently flipping that snow-globe around to see things differently, the glass has seemed to have broken. The water has spilled out. The snowflakes are scattered across the floor. Somehow, it all needs to be put back together.

In a nutshell, here’s how it all happened. Our week in Ireland a month ago was extremely good yet extremely frustrating. Upon arrival back home, I let our team know that we were heading way off track. Frustration after frustration came out. But, it all came back to one word…prayer. We’re part of a prayer movement and we aren’t praying. We’ve spent this first term that was supposed to be about knowing Christ and have flipped it around so that it’s been about loving others. It’s a problem that rings true in so many churches. We think we can live out our lives, make our plans, and then soak them in prayer. We go from day to day, from ministry to ministry in this way. But, what would happen if we started on our knees? What would happen if our service were a result of our prayers? How much more effective would we be? More importantly, how much more would we know God our Father?

I’ll admit that I don’t know how to do this. I honestly don’t believe I understand the importance of prayer. And, for that reason, I sit with a broken snow-globe scattered across the floor, not knowing how to fit it back together. There will be long intense months to come. Because of this, I could have easily jumped on that plane with my family and headed away from this place. But, that would be a reaction to my desire (and I think each of our desires) for a more comfortable place. Run away from those longings. They have their time and place, but I believe we must be looking to jump into the thick of things for that is where transformation occurs. I’m confident that these next months will be ‘good.’ Maybe not in the normal sense of the word. Maybe not easy or fun or enjoyable. But they will be good. I press on to see how God will take our mess…our ashes…and give us beauty in return.

I hope each of you step into this New Year with excitement for what lies ahead. May it be a time of setting up an altar in celebration and remembrance of all God has done over this past year. And may it be a benchmark as you strive to journey after God’s heart in an even more intimate way. May He receive the glory…

GOD'S STORY.

2006-12-30T12:46:00.001-05:00

05DEC06 Ecc 1-2; 12:9-14
06DEC06 1Ki 11-13
07DEC06 1Ki 14-15
08DEC06 1Ki 16-17
09DEC06 1Ki 18-19
10DEC06 2Ki 2; 4
11DEC06 2Ki 5; 9
12DEC06 2Ki 10-11
13DEC06 2Ki 12-13
14DEC06 2Ki 14-15
15DEC06 2Ki 16-17
16DEC06 Amos 4-5; 9
17DEC06 Hosea 1-3
18DEC06 Hosea 6-8
19DEC06 Hosea 9-10
20DEC06 Hosea 11; 14
21DEC06 Jonah 1-4
22DEC06 Ps 1-2; 8
23DEC06 Ps 14-15
24DEC06 Ps 16; 19
25DEC06 Ps 23
26DEC06 Ps 24-25
27DEC06 Ps 27; 29; 38
28DEC06 Ps 40; 42
29DEC06 Ps 62-63
30DEC06 Ps 67; 72
31DEC06 Ps 82; 90-91
01JAN07 Ps 92-93; 95
02JAN07 Ps 119:1-100
03JAN07 Ps 119:101-176
04JAN07 Ps 121-123
05JAN07 Ps 125-127
06JAN07 Ps 132; Ps 137
07JAN07 Ps 139
08JAN07 Is 2; 6

GOD'S STORY.

2006-12-04T18:22:00.000-05:00

04DEC06 SOS 5-8
05DEC06 Ecc 1-2; 12:9-14
06DEC06 1Ki 11-13
07DEC06 1Ki 14-15
08DEC06 1Ki 16-17
09DEC06 1Ki 18-19
10DEC06 2Ki 2; 4

BEAUTIFUL NORTHERN IRELAND.

2006-12-04T18:05:00.000-05:00

THE CHURCH.

2006-11-29T07:51:00.001-05:00

The idea of the Church has been heavy on my heart for the past few days. Now I’m not so much talking about the Universal Church…the body of believers scattered around the world. Instead, I’ve been focusing in on the local church. Here’s why: Ever since being here, we’ve been told that it’s vital that we get involved in a local church. So, for the last 2 ½ months, we’ve all been a part of a student church about 25 minutes walk away. It’s a totally non-traditional environment, with a focus solely on the university students in the area. Chill environment. Very small body. No pastors…only a leadership team. However, they are a part of a larger network of churches that are popping up around the country. My question is this: Why is it so vital that we be involved in the local church? More specifically, how (if it is) is Transit different than the local church?

Transit, in definition, is a community of believers, living together, working together, studying together, praying together and resting together. The community centers on 6 key principles: Prayer, Creativity, Mission, Justice, Learning & Hospitality. If you look at the local church in Acts, you see that when they met, they prayed, read scripture, fellowshipped and shared. All of these, we as Transit are doing in everyday life. So, what is Church? Can a body of 7 believers living together in this way be called a local church? Usually, I might argue that the church should be a place of wisdom through elders and ages that span the years. But, a college church does not have this. Or what about a place of mobilization to the nations? Again, this church I now attend does not do this. One person told me that the church should be a place where new believers are able to connect to the body. This does not mean where unbelievers are taken to be converted—that’s our job in everyday life! So, if this is the case, should our decision in choosing a church be informed by this? If I’m put in contact with a 40-year-old man who decides to come to Christ, am I going to be able to bring him to my student church and expect him to connect there? Tough questions.

I believe these are some big things to ask. I think we’d all agree that the Church is huge on Christ’s heart. Our approach to the Church should affect that. In a world of post-modernity, where emergent churches are coming into existence in all sorts of shapes and sizes, we must chew on these questions. Would the Church be more in line if it was about raw community instead of an organized Sunday meeting? The Church must be about informing the rest of our lives and calling us ahead. It is less about seeking God’s hand and more about seeking God’s face.

Toss some feedback my way. Heading to Northern Ireland until Monday…

GOD'S STORY.

2006-11-27T04:26:00.000-05:00

27NOV06 1Ki 1-2
28NOV06 1Ki 3; 4:29-34; 5
29NOV06 1Ki 6; 8
30NOV06 1Ki 9; Prov 2
01DEC06 Prov 3; 8-9
02DEC06 Prov 10; 23; 31
03DEC06 SOS 1-4

GOBBLE GOBBLE.

2006-11-23T14:44:00.000-05:00

Imagine a place where people go to work on the 4th Thursday of November and are never bothered by it. Imagine no turkey…no dressing…no mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie. Imagine no Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade to wake up to and no football to fall asleep to after the big meal. This is the world I find myself in.

But, worry not! In a country where America is hated, have no fear that the American saves the Day! Today, it was my mission to do everything possible to see that those crazy people from across the big blue pond would see what they’ve been missing their whole life.

The task was not small, with a 7am wake up call to get the massive turkey in the oven. Six hours later I had somehow pulled off an entire Thanksgiving dinner on my own (minus the potato task that I handed over to the man from Ireland). It was a joyful day…15 of us gathered around the table outdoors, as I would imagine the Pilgrims had done. With just a few droplets of rain and unseasonably warm weather, we made it through. New history lesson for this year: the Pilgrims had no forks…they only ate with spoons, knives and their fingers. But, just as mashed potatoes wouldn’t be complete without gravy, so would Thanksgiving be incomplete without Charlie Brown. The DVD arrived just in time, and everyone was in for a treat as we learned many truths about the history of this great day from Charlie, Linus, Snoopy and the whole gang. What a day!

As we held kernels of corn in our hands this afternoon and told of things we were thankful for, you all came to mind. I’m guessing if you’re still reading this blog 2 ½ months after my departure, you’re dedicated and actually care about what’s going on over here in London and in my life. For that I am thankful. It’s incredible that God brings people into our lives to encourage us and to help us through the madness. Know, on this day, that thanks for you is being sent up to heaven above from the other side of the Atlantic. I love you all, especially as we count our abundant blessings…

GOD'S STORY.

2006-11-22T05:09:00.000-05:00

20NOV06 1Sam 9-10
21NOV06 1Sam 13; 15
22NOV06 1Sam 16-17
23NOV06 1Sam 18-19
24NOV06 1Sam 20; 24
25NOV06 2Sam 5-6
26NOV06 2Sam 7; 11-12

GOD'S STORY.

2006-11-12T14:40:00.000-05:00

13NOV06 Jdg 9-10
14NOV06 Jdg 11-12
15NOV06 Jdg 13-14
16NOV06 Jdg 15-16
17NOV06 Ruth 1-4
18NOV06 1Sam 1-2
19NOV06 1Sam 3; 8

JACOB'S WELL.

2006-11-11T18:27:00.000-05:00

Look into this example of a lifestyle of creative community worship.
http://www.jacobswell.ca/

A WHOLE LOTTA WORSHIP.

2006-11-11T16:25:00.000-05:00

As I laid in bed last night, I felt the overwhelming sensation that I was a snow-globe. You know those tacky trinkets you get at Christmas? With nice bright plastic molded cityscapes? Something happens when you shake them up. As a kid, I used to have a special snowman snow-globe. Me and my brother both had one. We’d pull them out every year just after Thanksgiving. The only way you could tell them apart was because Adam’s had the paper torn from the bottom. I guess he’d tried to get it open and taken apart back in the day. I would always check to make sure that mine still had my name written across the bottom in sloppy childlike writing. Anyways…I can remember sitting on the couch shaking that tiny snow-globe around every Christmas. I would always try to get a piece of the dandruff-looking snow on top of the snowman’s black top hat. I think I managed to do so from time to time. But, with any jerk of the globe, the water would come along and knock it from its resting place. The flake would then float down to the base, eventually forming a new landscape. You see, as I look back on that snow-globe, I think of how I attempted to manipulate the view every time I shook it…whether it be attempting to see white flakes against the contrasting black or whether it be turning the globe upside down so that all the snow would come to rest against the glass. So, as I lay in bed the other night, I was taken aback to the feeling of being shaken up. I literally felt as though my thoughts have been rattled around. And the odd thing is that this time I feel as if I did nothing to manipulate what I would see. New things have come to light. I’m beginning to see that snow-globe upside down. The snow is beginning to settle…

On Thursday morning our team from Staines once again jumped into a minibus and headed for Guildford. It was time for training block numero four. We had heard excitement about the speaker that would be coming, but I suppose I really wasn’t expecting anything spectacular. At some point I had heard that we’d be discussing the topic of ‘worship’, but didn’t really think much about it. Maybe because this is a discussion that is had time and time again. In reality, I can’t think of any big talks on worship that have drastically influenced my thinking or living. Until Thursday.

Joyce Heron came to visit us from a community called Jacob’s Well, located up in Vancouver. From what seemed to be the moment she opened her mouth, I was fixed on this woman’s story. Jacob’s Well is a community that is essentially ‘doing life together’ and seeking out ways to bring God’s Kingdom to our world. It is a community slammed right in the middle of the highest rate of AIDS in the Western world. It is a neighborhood made up of over 50% who have a mental disease. Drug rates are huge. Disease rates are mind-blowing. It is basically a ‘community waiting to die.’

WORSHIP AS A COMMUNITY. This was Joyce’s first topic of discussion. Before I step any further into this, let me just say that this woman has incredible amounts of wisdom. There was such truth, such clarity and such rawness in everything that was brought to light. With that being said, I know that I will come nowhere near to giving her words and insights justice. But, here goes my humble attempt.

The church seems to go around and around about what it means to worship. We are able to agree that worship is our main goal. I mean, the chief goal of man is what?...to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. I suppose that’s worship. I also suppose that’s what it means to be human. It’s why we were created. So, what does Christ say about this idea? What are we commanded to do? When the Son of God was asked of the greatest commandment, what did he respond? He pointed back to an ancient Jewish scripture found in Deuteronomy 6:4. The Shamah. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. We know this Scripture. But, what are we doing with it?

All throughout the Bible, we see traces of worship services. They don’t just begin when Christ came. The Israelites held Assemblies, where they would here the Word, Worship, and offer Sacrifices. David spoke of desiring to worship the Lord day and night. Jesus even went to the local synagogue, or church. Peter is seen addressing thousands in the outer gates before they eventually dispersed. In each of these locations, there was Liturgy. Now, we often think of Liturgy as this stale combination of words with lack of meaning or thought. Our response is to automatically switch into ‘passive audience mode’. But, in its most basic sense, liturgy is the understanding of pattern. It can be both formal and informal, but it must be there.

The church, must therefore, always have pattern…liturgy. Firstly, there must always be Scripture. That doesn’t and shouldn’t mean that an elderly lady in her nineties should stroll up to the front, Sunday after Sunday and read the words straight from the Bible in her squeaky monotone voice. There are obviously different ways of presenting. But, church must always be founded on Scripture. Secondly, there must be Prayer. One thing to note about prayer is that it always seems to be happy. Why in the world do we sing songs again and again as if the world is perfect? Why do churches portray the image that everything is good. Where did this idea of happy worship come from? In fact, there is an overwhelmingly massive amount of worship in Scripture that is not happy at all. Instead, it is lament. It is honest. It cries out to God. Church must reflect this! Thirdly, there must be Fellowship. This leads to Feasting together. And, finally, there should be Sharing. Take a look at Acts, to see how the Church functioned. Chapter 2:42-47 states that there was teaching, fellowship, the breaking of bread and prayer. They shared everything.

What is even more striking about the Acts Church, though, is the fact that these things were not just done on the Sabbath. They did life together. For Joyce, this means living in a community of around 50 believers. They eat together. They share. They live together. Our worship services must inform the rest of our life. In Marva Dawn’s book, “Keeping the Sabbath Wholly,” she encourages us to see the Sabbath as 3 days before (preparation) and 3 days after (reflection). The worship service must call us, as believers, ahead.

What has seemed to drastically go wrong with our churches could easily be termed Individualism. This is a direct cause of the Enlightenment…the time when we were somehow in some way given the ability to know all things. That’s the mindset around these days. And it’s a mindset that is in confliction with Scripture. What has happened is that we go to a worship gathering with the ME focus. What will I get out of it? Instead, we must realize the focus is what the Lord will say to US. We must change from I to US. When God meets one of us, He meets us all. When Jesus was teaching his disciples to pray, he said, “OUR Father…give US this day OUR daily bread.” The focus must be giving and not receiving. It should be less about seeking God’s hand and so much more about seeking his face.

Another huge problem with the Church must be addressed. Joyce informed us that nearly half of the population of Canada would admit to saying the ‘Sinner’s Prayer’ while less than 5% could be found in a church on a given Sunday. The truth is that the Church has somehow found their worth in making converts instead of disciples. Think on that. Is our desire, as the Church, to make converts? When we examine Corinthians, we see that salvation in the assembly is the exception and definitely not the rule. Somehow we have placed the Great Commission high above any other commandment and suddenly we’re only concerned about saving people. Why do we feel as if that’s our job? Is God not the one who pursues? We can’t change hearts. Only God can. The Great Commission is in fact solely focused on making disciples. So often we think it is a command to GO. In reality, though (going back to my Greek days at Taylor), the command is to make disciples. It would better be translated as ‘Going into all the world, MAKE disciples…’ See the difference? It’s understandable why we have it the wrong way. We want it to be about success. We want it to be about achieving something. But, in reality, we have absolutely no mandate in all of Scripture to save people. God is the one who must be doing the pursuing. Bottom line.

In relation to this idea, I’ll end this section with one thought. Why did Jesus give the harsh words to the religious insiders and the kind words to the religious outsiders? And, why have we completely flipped this around?

WORSHIP AS A LIFESTYLE. Within church circles, we hear this whole buzz about living out worship as a lifestyle. It makes me sick to think of all the times I’ve heard people say that ‘worship is not something you do on Sunday mornings, it’s a lifestyle.’ Alright. We get that. I think. At least we say we do. The truth is that we continue to be dominated by this individualistic mindset. My life is all about me. What can I accomplish before I lay upon my deathbed? What am I best at? How can I be successful?

I was told stories of the ancient cathedrals that can be found throughout England and all of Europe. These were massive projects. Architects actually spent their entire lives designing these structures. But, the sad truth is that so many of them went unfinished without having the designer ever seeing the completion. In fact, some remain uncompleted today, hundreds of years later. How would you feel about never seeing the success of your life’s work? That’s exactly what we’re called to do. We need to have an entirely different mentality. We need to have a ‘Cathedral Mentality.’ We must see our life as a small glimmer in God’s huge story. We only play a part in the long history of creating the Kingdom. Our best worship, then, is to be ourselves, for we are each individually unique. Think on the truth that our lives, our salt and light lives, are all about bringing God’s Kingdom into being. We must do this in 3 ways. First…Serving. Second…Vocation. We must be careful to not view this as a painful result of the Fall. Look at the Garden. God commanded Adam & Eve to work before sin was even in the picture. They were to take care of the Garden. They were told to name the animals. Our vocation should never be a trap that we find ourselves in. We convince ourselves that our job is our mission field and yet we go there, day after day, hating life and waiting for the bells to chime 5 o’clock. Is this worship? Finally, our lives must be made up of Creativity. We are co-creators, right along with God. Why do we so often not reflect this?

A question to think upon: What would I do if there was no sin? Maybe this should be the answer to what our individual vocation should be.

WORSHIP & THE CREATIVE ARTS. If part of worship as a lifestyle equals creativity, then we must focus in on the arts. Exodus 31 seems to point directly to this truth. Bezalel was in fact the first person in all of scripture who was said to be filled with the Holy Spirit. This meant wisdom, understanding, knowledge and skills. He was an artist and the designer of God’s very own dwelling place, the Tabernacle. I’ve heard it argued that maybe the outward signs of tongues and prophecy aren’t the first evidence that someone has been filled with the Spirit of God. Maybe, instead, creativity comes first. Whether that’s true or not, the reality is that God places an emphasis and value on creativity.

The creative arts are intrinsic to what it means to be worshipers. There must not just be a couple random people in the Church who are considered artists and the rest of us just go along our journey without any evidence of creativity. Just as God awakened creativity in Bezalel, so God impresses creativity upon us. We must each act on it. Looking back in history, all the major universities were actually begun as seminaries (Cambridge, Oxford, Yale, Harvard, etc.). And, they were all places that cultivated creativity. This whole idea of creativity should not be brushed off. God is a creative God and if we are his image-bearers, we must be extremely careful to never brush off such a vital characteristic. This doesn’t mean that we are all Picassos or Rembrandts or Mozarts. Creativity does not only mean the fine arts.

The biggest truth that must be realized is that we must be seeking to make an announcement of God’s Kingdom. It goes back to being salt and light. Repent, for the Kingdom of God is at hand. I remember when I first learned the definition of that word…repent. It means to change your thinking. Change your thinking, for the Kingdom of God is at hand. That’s exactly what we, as the Church, must do. Change your thinking. It doesn’t say that we need to be seeking for others to convert. It doesn’t mean slamming others in the face with our prideful beliefs. It means seeing through God’s eyes and declaring the Kingdom of God.

Having established the fact that we must be creative because we are co-creators with God…how do we do such a thing? Firstly, we must invite the Holy Spirit’s empowerment. We need to be worshiping and calling others to worship. Secondly, we must look beyond the here and now. The Kingdom of God is ongoing. It’s back to that ‘Cathedral Mentality.’ Finally, we must seek to develop and become skilled in our area of creativity and use it to serve. Each of us must find our own voice.

One of my biggest struggles in relation to this is that if we want our art to live, it must be HONEST. This is key.

Finally, one last question in this third area of focus. I encourage you to do this at the end of each week. Joyce suggested sitting with a candle in silence for about five minutes and reflecting on these two questions. First: What took the most life from me in the past week? (This is something that must be given up). Second: What gave me the most life this week? (Focus even more upon this throughout your life).

I feel as if I just regurgitated heaps and heaps of words out onto this page. It’s tons to chew on. I encourage you to do just that, though. Chew. I still am. As the snow begins to settle around you, examine the world in a new light. Look around. What does it mean to worship? Test these thoughts. But, don’t force anything to be where you think it should be. Don’t manipulate the landscape. Don’t struggle to make the flakes rest upon the hat. Let them fall gently to the ground. And pray that God would open your eyes in a new way. Ask to see the world as he does.

"AWESOME ARE YOU GOD, IN YOUR SANCTUARY."

2006-11-08T08:25:00.000-05:00

Just getting through a pretty intense time of meditation on Psalm 68. This psalm seems to completely line up with the story we've been reading of Israel conquering the Promised Land. What struck me is the last verse. It speaks of God being the one who gives power and strength to his people. Obviously, eh? But, if it is the God of Israel who gives me strength, how am I reacting to this? He has empowered me with His Spirit. It is a mighty Spirit. It is an awesome Spirit. Am I taking advantage of this power? Am I putting it to use? God took one man, Abraham, and multiplied him into millions. He is powerful! Do I need to be more focused on this power & less focused on my own individual power? Look at my dreams. Visions. Am I able to doubt that such things are possible to come true? If they're MY dreams, it's one thing. If they're God's dreams, this means something completely different. Seize the power! Put the strength to use!

GOD'S STORY.

2006-11-08T05:00:00.000-05:00

06NOV06 Josh 7-9
07NOV06 Josh 10-11; 14:6-15
08NOV06 Josh 23-24
09NOV06 Jdg 1-2
10NOV06 Jdg 3-4
11NOV06 Jdg 5-6
12NOV06 Jdg 7-8

GLIMPSES OF LONDON.

2006-11-06T08:34:00.000-05:00

THE DAYS OF THE FALLEN LEAF.

2006-11-01T07:26:00.000-05:00

The first of November. I’ve actually been waiting on this day for quite some time now. Several weeks ago I made a pact with myself and a promise to my housemates that I wouldn’t listen to Christmas music until the first of November. But, now, I somehow don’t have the desire to step into such excitement. I look out the windows of my room to our gardens (a.k.a. ‘yards’ in the U.S.) and feel quite immersed in the autumn spirit. I suppose it took a bit of effort to get there, though. You see, most people usually hate the fact that they have to go through the effort to clear the fallen leaves out of their yards. This year, I thought we’d try something different. Due to the lack of trees out back, I was getting bored with the view of well-manicured green grass and rocks. Quite boring at this time of year, eh? So, I made my housemates go collect leaves with me. Eleven bin-liners (a.k.a. trash bags) full. Upon making a giant leaf pile, I ran around the yard throwing them everywhere. But, that wasn’t the end of it. This was all part of my plan to…OVERCOME THE HATRED FOR HALLOWEEN. The night of the 31st of October would be declared: ‘AUTUMNAL BONANZA.’ And, that it was. A celebration of massive proportions. In addition to the leaf pile, dozens of guests were graced with the opportunity to go apple-bobbing as well as a contest to see who could spit pumpkin seeds the furthest. My very own homemade scarecrow also adorned the yard. But, perhaps the most exciting part of the night was the fancy dress (a.k.a. costumes). We had quite the range of creativity show up for this bonanza. Some found it acceptable to come as themselves. Pitiful. But, when all was said and done, I crowned fellow team member Bec with first prize for her astonishing full-body monobrow (a.k.a. unibrow) costume. After many hours of brainstorming, I decided to make an appearance as possibly the worst creation made by man…a yard gnome. Unfortunately, I didn’t take the height of doorways and ceilings into consideration, so I struggled moving about with my rather large red hat. On the positive, though, each guest was greeted with ‘gnome juice’ (hot spiced cider-an unknown delight to the English) poured from my watering can. Oh, what a night!

On a more serious note, it has been a couple busy weeks since I last posted anything. I sometimes feel as if I need to have some wise thought-provoking words before writing. And, sometimes those don’t come, so I put it off. But, enough is enough. Now is the time to update you on my life.

Transit is big on routines. I guess. They say so at least. We’ve found otherwise. Our joke is that the course is actually just one big surprise. It’s quite exciting that way. And for that reason, I’m a fan and do everything possible to make it an even bigger surprise. Some people like these ideas when we’re planning our days and weeks. Others unfortunately think otherwise. With that being said, Transit is actually supposed to be a time of developing a lifestyle. And, with that must come routines. So, two weeks ago was our first full week of normal scheduling. Last week was completely different. Hmmm. In all seriousness, though, we have finally stepped into some new things in the last several days.

My big project is called ‘The Construction Bus.’ This is through East to West, which is a youth organization that the Boiler Room is based out of. The Construction Bus takes place on Tuesdays. But, last week was an intensive week, happening four days. The aim of this project is to reach out to the local ‘down and out’ youth in Staines, trying to get them back on their feet. The Bus gives them the opportunity to develop some practical skills with the goal of eventual employment. Thus far, I’ve been learning right along with them, as we build toolboxes and lay brick walls. Yesterday, they were happy to have me, the ‘Yank’, grill some hamburgers and sausages for them on their very own hand-built brick barbecue. The course also teaches plumbing, painting, and other things like interview skills, budgeting, etc. My biggest challenge with this project has been learning to relate to these young lads. Some are school drop-outs, some have been stabbed and in prison, many do heavy drugs. This course meets them where they are…a place that I can barely comprehend. It’s things like this, though, that reinforce my belief that our goal isn’t to go out and save souls…see how many people we can shove into Heaven. Instead, it’s about bringing God’s Kingdom to earth. Much of that revolves around Justice, and this is a prime example of combining both mission and justice. Pray that I would be able to use the second half of this course to continue to break through to these guys with encouragement. Pray for Dan and Craig and Jason and Sam. Pray for Dean as he has recently been kicked out of his home and yet seems to be seeking after this whole thing called Christianity. Pray for Chris, the leader of it all, who has gone through so much trouble and testing with his work in the last few weeks.

In other news, our team is working through our church to lead an Alpha Course. For those of you unfamiliar with it, Alpha is a course that started a dozen years ago and has now spread into many nations. It is an 8-week introduction to Christianity. The version that we are leading has been written for students. Our focus is Royal Holloway University, located just down the road. Today will be the 3rd week, and I have been handed the challenge of leading one of the small groups that meet and discuss various topics after the dinner and talk. These are students who are coming with questions. They are students who want to know what this whole thing called Christianity is all about. They are individuals at such a vital age in life. Last week really hit me, as I realized how much of a Christian bubble I have been living in for the last 4 years. It’s been hard but good to step out of that and into these lives. It’s also been encouraging to feel as if I’m learning that balance between Christian community and missional outreach. A question to ponder: Does the culture we find ourselves in have anything to do with our attitude toward the Chruch? For those of you trapped in a ‘Christian bubble’, do you think the temptation is be cynical about the Church and be more drawn to the world? And, for those on the other end, is there a tug towards the positives of the Church and negatives of the world? Just a question to consider while approaching our individual mindsets. How do we achieve that balance?

There seems to be a different attitude in the air since my last post about relationships. Since then I was able to have a major connection with a guy on the other Transit team. It’s quite interesting because his view is that their team jumped into the depth of relationships straight on. And, yet, they are incredibly intense about everything. Debates and tough discussions fill their daily lives. That, however, has led to far too much of a heavy spirit in their house. Our two teams have somehow been shoved to opposite ends of the spectrum. One loves depth and intentionality and only wants that. The other can be trapped in the fun and games of it all. Pray that both of our teams would learn to find that middle ground. I’ll tell you that progress is being made. Since I first brought up my concern for a lack of depth within our group, a few others have stated that they have been really convicted about this. We all really just want to get the most out of this year in terms of growth and change. Much of that means proactive steps that are not always the most comfortable or enjoyable.

Awhile back, I wrote a quite lengthy post about Dreams. Since then, my realization of this idea has been hot in my mind. Ideas, visions, dreams, whatever you want to call them have been flowing through my head. I love this, and yet I don’t want to be too future-focused. Pray that I would learn to find this balance as well. I’m hoping that God wants to show me something for the future during this year, yet I don’t want to be so caught up in it that I miss the here and now.

So, now, the question remains of when Christmas will come into full swing. Our town has been decorated for a few weeks now. But, I may just wait this year. I’ll continue to gaze out upon the leaves blowing in the wind around my new scarecrow friend while my jack-o-lantern looks at me with a slightly cheeky grin. And, I’m taken aback to the Midwest…where you can find bales of hay and pumpkin patches and real apple cider straight from the orchard. Could I actually be missing such a land for the first time in my life? Possibly. Maybe some Christmas tunes will help me get over it...

-Aaron

GOD'S STORY.

2006-10-30T04:39:00.001-05:00

30OCT06 Deut 7-9
31OCT06 Deut 10-12
01NOV06 Deut 17:14-20; 18
02NOV06 Deut 28-29
03NOV06 Deut 30-31; 34
04NOV06 Josh 1-3
05NOV06 Josh 4-6

GOD'S STORY.

2006-10-22T19:08:00.000-04:00

23OCT06 Ex 31-33
24OCT06 Ex 34-36:8, 40
25OCT06 Lev 16, 19, Num 1:1-19
26OCT06 Num 10-12
27OCT06 Num 13-14, 20, 21:4-9
28OCT06 Deut 1-3
29OCT06 Deut 4-6

GOD'S STORY.

2006-10-16T08:46:00.000-04:00

16OCT06 Ex 7-9
17OCT06 Ex 10-12
18OCT06 Ex 13-15
19OCT06 Ex 16-18
20OCT06 Ex 19-21
21OCT06 Ex 22-24
22OCT06 Ex 25-26

OVERDUE.

2006-10-16T08:44:00.000-04:00

I suppose I’m far overdue in typing up yet another post. In ways I feel as if I’m left with a blank slate and nothing to write, but in other ways I feel as if thoughts are flowing through my mind at rapid rates. Maybe it’s just finding the words to express.

Much of my thinking over the last couple weeks has been focused upon relationships. This has been a result of much frustration in this area. During this huge transition in my life, I’ve stepped away from Taylor, where I’ve lived within incredible bonds for the past four years. Reflecting back on those years, I covet those times spent with others. They were friendships that changed and molded me. I lived with those I loved. I constantly surrounded myself with those I loved. So, now, I come here and am told to love those with whom I live. In all reality, I didn’t think that would be too difficult. I’m living with an incredible group of individuals who have taken this radical step in their lives. But, after a month, the lack of depth really hit me. The lack of intentionality. This is most likely due to the lack of time that we’ve had to dive into each others’ lives. Much of my frustration, though, is probably due to the fact that I’ve chosen to compare these relationships to those back home. Some of which have taken four years in the making. All of which, by now, I’ve romanticized. In the midst of this, though, I’ve come to realize how much focus I put on human friendships. I would never argue that human relationships aren’t God-honoring. But, could they reach beyond the boundaries? Could I be too people-focused? Do I choose to fill the absence of time spent seeking after God with time seeking after others? Maybe God is calling me into a season of learning what it means to cling to Him instead of others. Quite the paradigm shift.

I have been extremely encouraged by all that is happening at Church back home. Having left with a bit of a cynical heart towards NewLife, I also knew that change would come this year. And, it has now begun. Reading prayer after prayer on the blog has been so powerful. People are experiencing God in a new light! I wrote last week that I felt your week of 24-7 prayer would be one of waiting on God. And, I think you’ve seen that over the last week. People changing by just being still before God and longing to know him. Now that you’ve stepped into this second week, I pray that you would shift your focus even more towards LISTENING. I’m praying that God will speak in huge ways this week. I pray that He would mess up the human plans of NewLife and make them his own.

I suppose those are the thoughts in my head on this sunny Monday morning. Pray that I would be shaken up during my time here. (Whatever that means.) Pray that I would continue to learn more about myself, and that those things I learn would cause me to be drawn even nearer to Christ. Pray that I would have the desire and drive to pour my entire being into this time…that I would be changed…that I would be molded.

Much love from over here,
Aaron

QUESTIONS…Do we make prayer all about us? Could prayer possibly just be God’s words, given to us, and then spoken back to him?

STOLEN WORDS FROM ‘CELEBRATION OF DISCIPLINE’ by Richard Foster

2006-10-16T08:43:00.000-04:00

MEDITATION.

Always remember that we enter the story not as passive observers, but as active participants. Also remember that Christ is truly with us to teach us, to heal us, to forgive us. Alexander Whyte declares, ‘with your imagination anointed with holy oil, you again open your New Testament. At one time, you are the publican: at another time, you are the prodigal…at another time, you are Mary Magdalene: at another time, Peter in the porch…Till your whole New Testament is all over autobiographic of you.’

PRAYER.

Perhaps the most astonishing characteristic of Jesus’ praying is that when he prayed for others he never concluded by saying ‘If it be thy will.’ Nor did the apostles or prophets when they were praying for others. They obviously believed that they knew what the will of God was before they prayed the prayer of faith. They were so immersed in the milieu of the Holy Spirit that when they encountered a specific situation, they knew what should be done. Their praying was so positive that it often took the form of a direct, authoritative command: ‘Walk,’ ‘Be well,’ ‘Stand up.’ I saw that when praying for others there was evidently no room for indecisive, tentative, half-hoping, ‘If it be thy will’ prayers.

Søren Kierkegaard once observed: ‘A man prayed, and at first he thought that prayer was talking. But he became more and more quiet until in the end he realized that prayer is listening.’

FASTING.

Where are the people today who will respond to the call of Christ? Have we become so accustomed to ‘cheap grace’ that we instinctively shy away from more demanding calls to obedience? ‘Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross.’ Why has the giving of money, for example, been unquestionably recognized as an element in Christian devotion and fasting so disputed? Certainly we have as much, if not more, evidence from the Bible for fasting as we have for giving. Perhaps in our affluent society fasting involves a far larger sacrifice than the giving of money.

STUDY.

‘He that studies only men, will get the body of knowledge without the soul; and he that studies only books, the soul without the body. He that to what he sees, adds observation, and to what he reads, reflection, is in the right road to knowledge, provided that in scrutinizing the hearts of others, he neglects not his own.’ -Caleb Colton

ART.

2006-10-16T08:40:00.000-04:00

Do you believe that God is found in all of creation? On Thursday, as part of our second training block, we had a time of discussing/analyzing artwork. Each of us was told to bring one piece of work that had affected us and taught us something about God. What is our response to art? Do we consider much of it rubbish? Do we only skim the surface for beauty? Or do we dive down deeper? If God is in all of creation, than maybe we need to seek to find him. If we choose to ignore the arts, are we choosing to ignore a portion of God’s character?

To go in hand with this, Thursday night we had a time to just seek after God in various ways. A temporary prayer room was set up with different stations. Tilly asked me to use the time painting. So, after purchasing a couple slabs of 2ftx4ft lumber, I sought out to spend the time in worship through painting. During the time, I was encouraged by one of the girls who took the time to pray (in Finnish) over my gift of creativity and how it fits into God’s plan for me. After praying, she shared that she had this sense that God was truly pleased with me when I use my gifts…as a father who rejoices over his child, he too rejoices in this act of worship. After smudging my hands around for about an hour, the following is what came out.

GOD'S STORY.

2006-10-09T06:52:00.000-04:00

09OCT06 Gen 35;37-38
10OCT06 Gen 39-41
11OCT06 Gen 42-44
12OCT06 Gen 45-47
13OCT06 Gen 48-50
14OCT06 Ex 1-3
15OCT06 Ex 4-6

HOME.

2006-10-04T15:15:00.000-04:00

our houses are the two middle gray ones (4th & 5th from the right)

THE LOVELY LIVING ROOM.

2006-10-04T13:56:00.000-04:00

MY ROOM.

2006-10-04T13:41:00.000-04:00

PRAYER GRAFFITI

2006-10-04T13:39:00.000-04:00

jotted on the floor before writing the following post...

DREAMS.

2006-10-04T12:55:00.000-04:00

Written During a Management Shift @ the Englefield Green 24-7 Prayer Room
[early a.m. tuesday]

Throughout the last 2 weeks, I feel as if God has been ‘forcing’ me to dream dreams. As I write this, I’m laying over some scribblings of the verses in Joel about the Spirit being poured out on all people. Sons and daughters will prophesy. Old men will dream dreams. Young men will see visions. I’m convinced that 24-7 is just a bunch of dreamers. But that’s not the end of it. They act on their dreams. And God is working. The following dreams are dreams I’ve heard of in the last two weeks. Dreams that have taken flesh and blood. Dreams that are living and active.

#1 KELLY GREENE::boys town, mexico::
I’m still a bit shocked by this one. Primarily because it seems too perfect. Here’s a young woman who first visited this border town in Mexico a couple years ago. She realized the desperate call for help, knowing that someone else should GO. Not her, though. She’s now been praying for nearly two years. Boys Town is a walled-in area outside downtown where drugs and prostitution are completely legal. Darkness. But, there has been a breakthrough. In the midst of discouragement (after 1 ½ years of prayer walking), Kelly felt the call to dig in. Lives are now being changed. Women are getting out. What began as a dream for a prayer room has turned into so much more. There are currently children within Boys Town, heaps of them, who never come outside. In hiding. Their mothers, caught in prostitution, are afraid that the government will take them away and place them in orphanages. Never to be adopted back. So they go on hiding. As their mothers go to ‘work’ each night. Kelly’s dream? A home and arts school for these children. Kelly claims that she isn’t artistic, yet knows that every little girl wishes to be a ballerina or a singer or painter one day. Kelly wants to have a place where these children can go at night. A hot meal. A warm bed. The arts in the morning. And then back to their mothers for the day. This dream is not far off. There’s a building in sight. Lives for these “outcasts” will soon be transformed. Kelly is now seeking out a team to come and mold the lives of these children. Artists. Musicians. Dancers. Teachers. Doctors. Anyone.

#2 INVISIBLE CHILDREN::northern uganda::
I ordered the DVD over the summer, only to receive it a few days before leaving the States. I had heard many positive comments about this organization. I finally saw the story for myself a couple nights ago. Talk about a need for justice. Countless children are being captured by the ‘Lord’s Army.’ This is a group, supposedly rooted in witchcraft, whose hope is to overthrow the governement. So they steal away the children. At a prime age. And train them to be soldiers. Desensitize them to death and murder and shooting. Each night hundreds…thousands of children leave home and go into hiding to avoid being captured. Crammed quarters. They are the ‘invisible children.’ They have seemed to been forgotten. But, 3 college guys from California found them a few years ago. Their vision? To tell the story of these children. In the last 3 years these 3 filmmakers have let their documentary spread like wildfire. Compassion is key. The world must do something about these children and this ‘army.’ People must respond.

#3 SCOT & FAMILY::somewhere in europe::
On Sunday night yet another pilgrim arrived at our home in Egham. This man’s story is crazy. It’s a radical story that inspires. A year and a half ago, Scot, along with his wife and 2 young kids, drove off in their VW campervan named ‘Harry.’ They had felt God’s call to obey his Word and leave everything to follow after him. They quit their jobs. Sold their house. Leaving them with only what would fit in the campervan. For Scot, that meant giving away his most prized possession: his music collection, consisting of 600-800 CDs. So, off they went. No clue where. Driving away with servants’ hearts. Willing to do anything. Even if that meant “cleaning toilets and setting up chairs.” Harry has been around Europe. A week here. A week there. They’re following God. The van is striped in purples and pink. All over it lie the handprints of people they’ve met on their journey. The lives that have been touched. The prayers that go with them. At the moment they’re renting a home in Macedonia, where they will be staying for 5 months to help with a church plant. After that? Who knows. Maybe a mobile community to travel with. Teams to join them for a week or two and serve. Another dream written on someone’s heart. But it didn’t stay there and die. Scot says that this dream nearly faded away. Distractions. Jobs. Homes. Children. The trap. But they chose to break free. “Leave everything and follow after me.”

So, what does this mean for me? I pray that my dreaming would increase throughout this year. How much more exciting is a life led by visions? A life drenched with the Spirit’s dreams. That is my hope. May God speak to me in these ways. Vision. Most of all, though, may I not let these dreams die. I pray that they give me glimpses into my Creator’s heart. I pray that I may have the strength…the drive…the desire to carry through.

These are the last days.

GOD'S STORY.

2006-10-01T18:45:00.000-04:00

02OCT06 Gen 19-20
03OCT06 Gen 21-22
04OCT06 Gen 23-24
05OCT06 Gen 25-26
06OCT06 Gen 27-28
07OCT06 Gen 29-31
08OCT06 Gen 32-34

THE TEAM.

2006-09-25T18:56:00.000-04:00

GOD'S STORY.

2006-09-24T08:52:00.000-04:00

25SEPT06 Gen 7-8
26SEPT06 Gen 7-8
27SEPT06 Gen 9-10
28SEPT06 Gen 11-12
29SEPT06 Gen 13-14
30SEPT06 Gen 15-16
01OCT06 Gen 17-18

COMMUNITY

2006-09-24T08:48:00.000-04:00

"Christian community is like the Christian's sanctification. It is a gift of God which we cannot claim. Only God knows the real state of our fellowship, of our sanctification. What may appear weak and trifling to us may appear great and glorious to God. Just as the Christian should not be constantly feeling his spiritual pulse, so, too, the Christian community has not been given to us by God for us to be constantly taking its temperature. The more thankfully we daily receive what is given to us, the more surely and steadily will fellowship increase and grow from day to day as God pleases."
-DIETRICK BONHOEFFER
[Life Together]

2006-09-23T19:22:00.000-04:00

GOD’S STORY.

2006-09-18T12:47:00.000-04:00

As part of Transit, we will be reading through the story part of Scripture in its entirety. Tomorrow begins it all. If you’d like to join me, I’ll post the reading week-by-week. This first week will start out slow, giving a couple days to get into it. Here’s the schedule:

19SEPT06 Gen 1-2
20SEPT06 Gen 1-2
21SEPT06 Gen 3-4
22SEPT06 Gen 3-4
23SEPT06 Gen 5-6
24SEPT06 Gen 5-6

THE PAST COUPLE DAYS

2006-09-18T12:36:00.000-04:00

The following four posts document my recent thoughts and experiences. Scroll down to (1 of 4) to begin. Love you all!

Aaron

P.S. Nearly two weeks have gone by and I am yet to take a single photo. I know…I’m horrible. When the time comes, I promise to show you all my new monastic home.

24-7prayer I.L.G. (4 of 4)

2006-09-18T12:35:00.000-04:00

MORE THOUGHTS FROM MY JOURNAL THAT NIGHT…

“I’ve been thinking about America a lot in the past couple days. No, I’m not homesick. It just helps to get away and gain a new perspective. There’s so much power there. The world has its eyes upon America. Jokes are made to mock it. According to a recent article, those in a certain middle-eastern country were asked what country they (1) most hated and (2) most wanted to live in. The top answer to both was America. With these thoughts in mind, I think about those in attendance at the Leader’s Gathering tonight. We went through the list of countries. This is a movement primarily throughout the western world. God is obviously calling the West to prayer. It’s where the power lies. It’s where Christians are stuck in their ways. It’s where Christians have been asleep. But is a new day coming? Will we be mere onlookers? Or will we be in the middle of it all?”

24-7prayer I.L.G. (3 of 4)

2006-09-18T12:34:00.001-04:00

VISION.

We stayed at a church this weekend and they just happened to be doing 24-7 prayer for the week. So, because we were there, they asked us to take some of the night shifts that had not been filled. Maybe ‘asked’ is the wrong word. They actually signed us up for them and ‘told’ us that we would be filling them. So, we did. Not to say that we were too keen on the idea. I was in the 1-2a.m. shift and ended up journaling my time away. What came were many thoughts and what I believe is a bit of vision for you all back home. After reading this, I think you’ll know who you are.

TORNADOS. Somehow, since being in England, I’ve heard the topic of tornados brought up time and again. Quite odd, really. It’s not normally the focus of many conversations. But, on several instances in the last week-and-a-half this topic has been mentioned. I didn’t really think much of it until Pete Greig brought tornados into his talk. He tried to use them as an analogy for prayer and I half understood what he was saying. But, with a bunch of mumbled conversations ringing in my mind, I really feel that God directed my thoughts back to you all at NewLife. I may be wrong…who knows.

First off, I feel that this all centers around the idea that has been pounding in my heart for the last week, of being still and knowing God. “Be still and know that I am God.” Keep that in mind. With the little meteorological knowledge that I have, I do believe that at the center of a storm is the eye of the tornado. It is still. It is calm. Yet, it seems to drive the storm. What an oddity this is. Yet, there are two other roles that are evident as a storm comes to be. One is the tornado itself. It destroys. It frightens. It throws you out of normalcy. Yet, this cannot happen without the stillness of the eye. The third role that is played within the storm is the observer. This is someone who sees not only the storm itself, but also the destruction afterwards.

So, what does all this mean? Hopefully not just a bunch of mumbled thoughts. Could God be calling the group of you back home to be the eye of the storm? Individuals driven by the stillness of knowing God. Not caught up in ‘saving’ individuals. Not bombarding unbelievers. Not always doing. But, knowing. I believe that if you start here, a storm will arise. Right now, I think you’re experiencing that calm before the storm. I think there’s apprehension and expectation for what is to come. The Spirit will grow as thick as a funnel surrounding you. There will be destruction. There will be messiness. But, then there will be rebuilding and refocus. And, all the while, on the sidelines, will be the observers. Watching. The storm will pass. Some may not survive. Some may choose not to survive. But, remember that after the storm, after the rebuilding, there will be something never known before. And the observer will see it all.

Like I said, these thoughts were all jotted down late last Friday night in that prayer room in north London. As I finished my hour (which flew by) I started packing my Bible and journal into my bag so I could head to bed. I glanced to the section of the wall that I had been leaning on the entire time. There, written in red handwriting were the following words:

“WHEN AND BE”
When the world sounds loud
When you don’t know where to go
When you don’t like who you are
When your words can’t explain
BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD
When you don’t like what you see
When your fears consume your thoughts
When decisions seem harder than they are
When you feel like you just can’t give anymore!
BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD
Teach me to know your thoughts
Teach me to know your voice
Teach me to see your face, your eyes and your hands
But must of all…
Teach me
TO BE STILL AND KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOD.

24-7prayer I.L.G. (2 of 4)

2006-09-18T12:34:00.000-04:00

Think on the idea of COMPASSION. I’ve realized how focused 24-7 prayer is on justice. Prayer. Mission. Justice. I guess I had glimpses of this before coming, but I think this is going to be a big focus this year. I really feel like this is the correct approach to the Gospel. The entire ministry of Jesus seemed to have been focused on the justice of the Kingdom. In Matthew 9, Jesus is said to have compassion on the crowds. This is supposedly the first time that this word had ever been used because of the intensity described here. There is so much yearning/striving on Jesus’ part. Our prayers must be driven by compassion. Our prayer rooms need to be dripping with compassion. As God, Jesus could do it all, but he chooses to allow us to be part of his family. That’s quite the calling.

24-7prayer I.L.G. (1 of 4)

2006-09-18T12:32:00.000-04:00

CRAZY WEEKEND

Just arrived home last night around 1a.m. after being downtown all weekend. We were taking part in 24-7’s annual INTERNATIONAL LEADER’S GATHERING. As I’ve been quick to learn, just like everything else with 24-7, you go into it having no clue what to expect. But, as the weekend went by, I was blown away as I gained an even deeper sense of the heart of this movement. While I was uncertain about giving 24-7 the label ‘movement’ before coming, I realize now that it is indeed the best word for it.

This post will give you a brief overview of the weekend and I’ll highlight some more specifics in the other 3 posts if you’d like to read on.

First off, the weekend was filled with worship led by David Ruis. Some of you may be familiar with him, as he wrote songs like ‘Every Move I Make’ and ‘Mercy is Falling.’ But, I suppose those are a bit ‘old-school’ and his style has completely changed. This man is an incredibly gifted musician in that he is an artist in his leading style. Imagine being drawn into worship through music in creative ways. I could talk much more about him. What struck me, though, was that nearly every church you go into, you sing the same songs with the same sound and it’s all just typical. Where’s the creativity? We’ve somehow convinced ourselves that music is at the top of the worship hierarchy and yet the ones leading us in that have chosen to just copy one another. Some thoughts to chew on. This weekend I saw Spirit-led worship that was freeing.

Friday night, Pete Greig spoke. And, he somehow got away with giving the same talk he gave to us Transiteers last week. Incredible words. It was all centered around the topic of passionate prayer…coming back to the character of Mary. Go back with me to the time when she anointed Christ with oil. Now, we’ve all heard talks about how much the oil must have cost, and it’s mind-blowing. Maybe that’s not the point, though. Possibly more costly than the oil were the tears that were shed from her eyes. It can be easy to give money away…to be generous. But, how easy is it to kneel in front of Jesus and shed tears onto his feet. Truly weep. With all that you are. Mary was always positioning herself there at the feet of Christ. Maybe this is why she was the first to see Jesus after his resurrection and be the first-ever apostolic voice as she spread the news to the disciples.

I wish each and every one of you could have experienced this weekend. To be in a room with over 200 people from probably 25(ish) nations is incredible. Even more so, was the fact that the Spirit was thick. This is a group of visionaries seeking after God. This is a group of dreamers not limited by the world.

IMAGINATION vs. INSPIRATION

2006-09-14T13:52:00.000-04:00

Some thoughts from Oswald Chambers for the day. Also check out Psalm 46, which has been on my heart for the past couple days...

“The simplicity that is in Christ.”
2 CORINTHIANS 11:3

Simplicity is the secret of seeing things clearly. A saint does not think clearly for a long while, but a saint ought to see clearly without any difficulty. You cannot think a spiritual muddle clear, you have to obey it clear. In intellectual matters you can think things out, but in spiritual matters you will think yourself into cotton wool. If there is something upon which God has put His pressure, obey in that matter, bring your imagination into captivity to the obedience of Christ with regard to it and everything will become as clear as daylight. The reasoning capacity comes afterwards, but we never see along that line, we see like children; when we try to be wise we see nothing (Matthew 11:25).

The tiniest thing we allow in our lives that is not under the control of the Holy Spirit is quite sufficient to account for spiritual muddle, and all the thinking we like to spend on it will never make it clear. Spiritual muddle is only made plain by obedience. Immediately we obey, we discern. This is humiliating, because when we are muddled we know the reason is in the temper of our mind. When the natural power of vision is devoted to the Holy Spirit, it becomes the power of perceiving God’s will and the whole life is kept in simplicity.

ADDRESS

2006-09-11T14:15:00.000-04:00

4 Runnymede Court
Egham
Surrey
TW20 9AA
UNITED KINGDOM

NEW DISCOVERIES

2006-09-10T07:28:00.000-04:00

This made my day yesterday...

I've been told that the word 'NEAT' is only used in the UK as a descriptive word comparing to tidy. Something is never neat as in 'cool'. What a relief! Also, on the other end of the spectrum, 'FOOLISH' is quite the common word here. Incredible!

THE BEGINNING OF IT ALL...

2006-09-08T12:26:00.000-04:00

Welcome to the Blogspot you've been waiting all your life to read...

The last couple days have been communicationless & I apologize, but I have finally reached my destination...home for 10-months. On Tuesday night, around midnight, after much flying and hours upon hours in the customs line, I finally arrived in London and was tossed over to the retreat center where it would all begin. How could I forget that they would drive on the opposite side of the road here? But, worry not. The mile is still in effect.

Anyways, upon arriving, Tim Rose, the chap in charge of it all greeted me and I was later able to meet Joe (Oklahoma), Matilda (Sweden), Chelsea (Michigan), Jon (England) and Dan (Wales). They're the hosts for the year. And, more specifically, Joe, Tilly (Matilda) & Dan are the hosts in my neck of the woods. There are 10 of us in Transit this year, and we've now been split into two locations. It was originally going to be 3, but between the lady in charge of the City of London Boiler Room stepping down and there not being as many applicants, they decided to keep it to 2 this year. So, the last 3 days have been spent getting a better flavor of this whole thing called 24-7 Prayer and the ideas behind Transit. This afternoon they finally decided to tell us where we would be located just before wheeling us off to our new homes.

I will be living on the west part of London in Egham. This particular spot will have a couple focuses which seem to be heading in the direction of youth and the beginning of a new prayer room. The current West London Boiler Room, which is about a 30-minute walk from here is being moved in the opposite direction of where we are living. That's about all I know.

I do know much more about what this year is going to look like, aside from the outreach. Developing a lifestyle is the key. And the three main focuses come straight from the Gospel. First, TRUE TO CHRIST. Out of that comes KINDNESS TO OTHERS and finally THE GOSPEL TO THE NATIONS. The year will be divided into 3 separate terms with these three focuses. How will these things be taught? I know that was your question & here's the answer: many ways. For instance, the text for this first term is 'Celebration of Discipline' by Richard Foster. We will seek to be taught in a variety of forms. Whether that be through film or biographies or artwork or albums, during this first term we will hopefully learn to find God and know him on a much more intimate level. Every two weeks at the most, the whole of us will gather together for lectures and more conventional teaching. On the 19th, we begin our chronological walk through the Bible.

One of the things they really seem to push is that we try new things during our time here. Attempt new ways of approaching God through prayer. This is a time to explore. A definite time of community. And, even as Christ left the Father to come into the world, so will we be going into culture. They claim this will be a difficult 10-months. That we will want to quit and travel home. But, it will be rewarding. From the words of one of the 24-7Prayer directors...'If these 10-months are the highlight of your life, then we have failed.' They long to set us up for the even more exciting adventure that lies ahead.

Those are many jumbled thoughts put into a couple paragraphs, but hopefully that gives you a better taste of what my life will look like. I know some of you have questioned the difference between 24-7 Prayer and IHOP in Kansas City. That was one of my first questions for them. Yes, they both began in September of 1999. However, as one bloke put it...'we both pray a lot & that's about it.' Supposedly they see the two very different. While IHOP has a strong emphasis in their vision on the end-times, 24-7 feels that they may possibly be more missional-focused. The first response I received was that IHOP is very polished and professional while 24-7 is more down-to-earth. I've very much seen this these last couple days and love it. These, for sure, aren't perfect people who have prayer all figured out. They're just a handful of individuals who long to mold some followers into true disciples of Christ.

I'll leave it at that for now. If you've made it this far...congrats & thanks for reading. If you want to be challenged, start reading 'Celebration of Discipline' with me. Having previously read it, I would argue that it's a great starting point & am excited to step into it on a whole new level.

My team for the year:
Hosts: Joe (US), Tilly (Sweden), Dan (Wales)
-David (Northern Ireland)
-Joe (England)
-Shaun (Canada)
-Bec (England)

Much love from London! You all are in my thoughts!

-Aaron

JUST A THOUGHT: Could it be that HOSPITALITY is the true mark of Christian leadership? Has the Church lost this as it has moved out of the home?